things that annoy the fook out of you

The eejits who queue up are invariably the ones who haven't realised that the best way to get a good seat for disembarking is just not to check in until the very end. I tend to check in right before online check in closes - it tends to be the case that the only seats left are either emergency exit seats or ones close to the front. If you're flying with an airline that doesn't charge for airport check in, you can very often wait til you get to the airport and just request a front seat from the people at the desk.

I appreciate that only works if you aren't travelling with kids or the better half, but if you're travelling with a few lads or whatever, it is no great imposition to sit apart for an hour or two on a short haul flight.

I hated every minute of the 3 years of German I did and those 4 words and Vógel are the only one i remember so maybe I'm wrong here

You've not watched the movie 'Snatch' then 

Jason Statham 

I hate when I'm in the pub telling a story, building carefully towards the major crescendo ending and some dope pops up asking "What's this? What are you talking about?". Am I meant to give up on everyone else and lose all my momentum by going back to the beginning for the sake of one person? You missed the boat pal, now shut up for a minute and let me finish my anecdote. 

Marion Bartoli giggling like a schoolgirl about the honour of being in the royal box at Wimbledon today. "I'm allowed to answer their questions, but I'm not allowed to ask them anything"

Halep's mother telling her one day you'll play the Wimbledon final in front of the royal box and Halep going on about how the main thing she wanted to do today was meet the Duchess of Cambridge, who was basically just some middling actress not long ago.

The Russians had the right idea in 1918, just shoot the parasites! 

Let’s turn nationalist areas into sh*t holes  and ape the worst aspects of loyalist culture - ohh and throw in a flute band while you are act it 

Does my fukin head in 

Rant over