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Funny Sex Stories/First Time Having Sex

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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sono Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 2:44pm
Originally posted by Kerrzy Kerrzy wrote:

Finally a thread Baldrick wont be able to contribute toClap




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MJD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 3:20pm
Censored


Edited by MJD - 22 Oct 2018 at 2:18pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote El_nino Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 10:51am
Originally posted by MJD MJD wrote:

Originally posted by Green Devil Green Devil wrote:

Originally posted by MJD MJD wrote:


Had a work night out last night and I ended up taking the ride of the office back to mine. Everyone today is desperate to hear about what I did to her, but the truth is we both got sick and went to sleep. Heaven Dead


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No chance! Will show you in London if I see you though Thumbs Up


I was shown a pic last night, she's a cracker   
I do love a good OG

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Johnner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 11:35am
My first time was on a family holiday at pontins when I was to young to understand what was happening. My sister was hanging around with this girl from Liverpool who was about 12 or 13 at the time. I was only 11 or 12 . I remember she was a good bit older and I anyway. She tells me to come up to her parents chalet that night and when I did she gives me a bottle of beer and invited me into the bedroom . I hadnt a clue what was going on but I just remember she pulled my trousers off and started to get on top of me and move up and down and moan . I can't remember much about it after that really. I think it must have frightened the sh*t out of me really cause i think I blanked it out until I thought of it just now haha .
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baldrick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:08pm
Did she present Its a Knockout
AKA pedantic kunt
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:34pm
Originally posted by Johnner Johnner wrote:

My first time was on a family holiday at pontins when I was to young to understand what was happening. My sister was hanging around with this girl from Liverpool who was about 12 or 13 at the time. I was only 11 or 12 . I remember she was a good bit older and I anyway. She tells me to come up to her parents chalet that night and when I did she gives me a bottle of beer and invited me into the bedroom . I hadnt a clue what was going on but I just remember she pulled my trousers off and started to get on top of me and move up and down and moan . I can't remember much about it after that really. I think it must have frightened the sh*t out of me really cause i think I blanked it out until I thought of it just now haha .


Was it Lilly Savage?
In the criminal justice system MON's crimes against the beautiful game are considered especially heinous.
Law & Order MON Special Victims Unit




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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShayGivensBum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:38pm
Originally posted by Johnner Johnner wrote:

My first time was on a family holiday at pontins when I was to young to understand what was happening. My sister was hanging around with this girl from Liverpool who was about 12 or 13 at the time. I was only 11 or 12 . I remember she was a good bit older and I anyway. She tells me to come up to her parents chalet that night and when I did she gives me a bottle of beer and invited me into the bedroom . I hadnt a clue what was going on but I just remember she pulled my trousers off and started to get on top of me and move up and down and moan . I can't remember much about it after that really. I think it must have frightened the sh*t out of me really cause i think I blanked it out until I thought of it just now haha .
.

Are you serious or just messing?
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Kevin Kilbane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Johnner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:46pm
Deadly serious , wouldn't make that up. She was obviously mad or something though. I actually think she might have been even older like 14 or so.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sham157 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 1:38pm
Finger banging a bird when I was 13 or 14 and I asked her for blow job. She proceeded to kiss my cock peck on the cheek style repeatedly. Needless to say she was shocked when I rammed it in her mouth.

Another time, much older at 17, I was in Benalmadena. Out with the lads in 24 hour square, I hooked up with this bird from Galway called Mary. She wanks me in the nightclub, then we head down the beach. Once finished on the beach, were walking back to the club. Of course being the gentleman that I was, I was outa there into a taxi back to the apartment. The lads were back there by now with a couple of women drinking away. When I walked in they fell around laughing. Anyway I went to go in for a shower being converted in sand, looks into the mirror and realised that not only was I covered in sand, but my face was covered in yer wans monthly juices.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baldrick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 1:41pm
Originally posted by sham157 sham157 wrote:

Finger banging a bird when I was 13 or 14 and I asked her for blow job. She proceeded to kiss my cock peck on the cheek style repeatedly. Needless to say she was shocked when I rammed it in her mouth.

Another time, much older at 17, I was in Benalmadena. Out with the lads in 24 hour square, I hooked up with this bird from Galway called Mary. She wanks me in the nightclub, then we head down the beach. Once finished on the beach, were walking back to the club. Of course being the gentleman that I was, I was outa there into a taxi back to the apartment. The lads were back there by now with a couple of women drinking away. When I walked in they fell around laughing. Anyway I went to go in for a shower being converted in sand, looks into the mirror and realised that not only was I covered in sand, but my face was covered in yer wans monthly juices.



Deisedevil wont be happy


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote El_nino Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 1:42pm
Jaysus Sham
I do love a good OG

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sham157 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 1:45pm
Originally posted by El_nino El_nino wrote:

Jaysus Sham

I know
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 2:07pm
Originally posted by Johnner Johnner wrote:

My first time was on a family holiday at pontins when I was to young to understand what was happening. My sister was hanging around with this girl from Liverpool who was about 12 or 13 at the time. I was only 11 or 12 . I remember she was a good bit older and I anyway. She tells me to come up to her parents chalet that night and when I did she gives me a bottle of beer and invited me into the bedroom . I hadnt a clue what was going on but I just remember she pulled my trousers off and started to get on top of me and move up and down and moan . I can't remember much about it after that really. I think it must have frightened the sh*t out of me really cause i think I blanked it out until I thought of it just now haha .


How old were you?

What you are describing is usually called rape.
     
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 2:13pm
Originally posted by Johnner Johnner wrote:

My first time was on a family holiday at pontins when I was to young to understand what was happening. My sister was hanging around with this girl from Liverpool who was about 12 or 13 at the time. I was only 11 or 12 . I remember she was a good bit older and I anyway. She tells me to come up to her parents chalet that night and when I did she gives me a bottle of beer and invited me into the bedroom . I hadnt a clue what was going on but I just remember she pulled my trousers off and started to get on top of me and move up and down and moan . I can't remember much about it after that really. I think it must have frightened the sh*t out of me really cause i think I blanked it out until I thought of it just now haha .
 
 
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Kevin Kilbane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Johnner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2013 at 2:26pm
I was 11 I think. Yea she was mad for it and I didn't really understand what I was supposed to do. Just lid there in shock haha. I will check with my mam which years we went there cause we were there a few times but I know I was not any older than eleven at he time. She was a year or two older and I remember she dumped me towards the end of the holiday and went of with an older lad from blanch and he was about 15 haha. I'd say he was lamping her out of it do the rest of his holiday .
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Roy Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eire32 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Apr 2015 at 9:51am
Originally posted by Baldrick Baldrick wrote:

Originally posted by sham157 sham157 wrote:

Finger banging a bird when I was 13 or 14 and I asked her for blow job. She proceeded to kiss my cock peck on the cheek style repeatedly. Needless to say she was shocked when I rammed it in her mouth.

Another time, much older at 17, I was in Benalmadena. Out with the lads in 24 hour square, I hooked up with this bird from Galway called Mary. She wanks me in the nightclub, then we head down the beach. Once finished on the beach, were walking back to the club. Of course being the gentleman that I was, I was outa there into a taxi back to the apartment. The lads were back there by now with a couple of women drinking away. When I walked in they fell around laughing. Anyway I went to go in for a shower being converted in sand, looks into the mirror and realised that not only was I covered in sand, but my face was covered in yer wans monthly juices.



Deisedevil wont be happy




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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Apr 2015 at 11:35am
Don't know if this is true or not but I thought it was funny, so always remember it.

Anyway, a lad I worked with years ago, he was giving this bird a diddy wank and left a skid mark on her belly.

     
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShayGivensBum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Apr 2015 at 11:42am
Sham Dead
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