My Roy Keane Diary: 'A day in the life'

Hummmmm attacking Robbie , slow it down TJ you are on thin ice

I officially retired from professional football in 2006 after 5 months with Celtic.  My hip had been at me and it was becoming a struggle to get through the 90mins.  It took me longer to recover from games even with the latest sports science methods.  In the summer of that year Niall Quinn and his Drumaville consortium had taken over Sunderland AFC.  Ireland was awash with money during the so called Celtic Tiger years.  Every fool thought he was a property developer. I despised these muppets. Lost the f**king run of themselves. The sports cars, the Rolex watches, the houses. Forgot the f**king people who got you the Rolex watches, the cars, the houses. Arseholes. The Drumaville consortium was full of them.  I despised them straight away.  Niall Quinn was the new chairman. Quinn had played for Sunderland for a few years.  I wasn't too popular up that way after missing his testamonial there in 2002. Quinn was struggling to appoint anyone to manage the Mackems. This didn't surprise me. Piss up and brewery came to mind. Quinn had to take charge of the first team and was manager for the first 4 games. It was a joke.  They lost all 4 and were rock bottom of the Championship.  It was 'Carry on up the Stadium of Light'. Quinn was desperate to get out of the dugout and renewed his search for a proper manager. Michael phoned me in August to tell me that I was going to be contacted about the position. I had no time for Niall Quinn. We had been team mates for ireland under JAck and Mick McCarthy. He was a goody twoshoes. I had jokingly called him 'Mother Theresa' back in 2002 but the name stuck. He had sided with McCarthy during the Saipan fallout. To me he was a traitor. He knew the shambles on that went on on that island and he stuck by the  man who arranged it all.
 I wanted to get into management. f**k it. I was willing to forgive but not forget. That was enough.
Michael arranged a meeting with Quinn at a house in County Kildare. We shook hands after a brief yet cordial meeting. He offered me the job and I accepted it. A press conference was called a few days later and I was presented to the media. Football is a strange business. Chairman, managers and players are pragmatists at the end of the day. They'll work with the devil himself as ameans to an end. I was the devil in Mother Theresa's dugout from where he could look down on me from above. I was happy with the role. I am in the stand for the first game. Sunderland win 2-0. I am in charge at Leeds a few days later. We win 3-0. Things are looking up.
The playing squad is poor. Results pick up but we are languishing mid table. Some of the players are f**king clueless. I knock on Quinns office door.  I tell him we need a whole new squad. He promises me cash to spend. It's going to be hard to get top talent so I go for some Irish rejects.  David Connolly, Graham Kavanagh, Liam Miller along with Dwight Yorke, Stan Varga and Ross Wallace. In January I sign Anthony Stokes, Carlos Edwards and Martin Fulop the goalkeeper. The Man utd duo Danny Simpson and Jonny Evans arrive to bolster the defence.  We go onto win the league. we romp to a clinching 5-0 win away to Luton Town.  The players are popping champagne in the dressing room after the game saying they didn't care if they won another trophy.  ''Hello'' I thought.  Was that it we have won the Championship, now we pack it in? 
''Let the lads enjoy it Roy'' I thought but something bothered me.
No matter how many people tell me I deserve that championship medal, I know I don't.
I am already planning for next season. Sunderland had been a yo-yo club for years. Now Quinn was pulling the string I was determined we were going to stay up. But first we needed more signings.

Next: My Premier League years with Sunderland

 I was the devil in Mother Theresa's dugout from where he could look down on me from above.  

Fred the Red 

Trap junior wrote: I feel about as comfortable as Andy Reid in a gym.

Best line yet !!!

Great stuff TJ

Same here. Watching and thinking of Roys thoughts on Dixon 

Request: When Roy brought Adrian Chiles to Croke Park to see Cork in hurling (it could have been football)

Edited by Landon Donovan - 15 Feb 2014 at 8:09pm