Women who like Bum Sex

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 captkeen wrote:

 gilesD4 wrote:

I always wanted to try this but no females I dated would allow it and it was frowned upon in our social circle [there is two gay friends of mine but they don't count]. So I decided the only female who would allow me to do this unnatural sex act would have to be someone common and from the working class area. Any way I hire this goy from the country to do some work for me from time to time and he was always ranting and raving about this place called Copper Face Jacks where he would engage in sex with numerous different women on a weekly basis. 
So one Saturday night I went on an expedition to find this mystical Copper Face Jacks. When I entered the establishment I was shocked at the riff raff clientle and longed for Kielys, but I was on a mission and I am not a quitter, so I went walking around listening out for some common accents. A blonde girl with big boobies on show caught my eye, she was wearing what could be only described as a belt. I flashed my American Express card and offered to buy her a drink. She was instantly attracted to my wealth but every time she talked I became unattracted to her. The combination of the riff raff, this Finglas commoner and three double Rémy Martin's forced me to leave that god foresaken place. Luckily for me, she joined me in the back of a cab and we went back to civilsation. 
Back at mine I poured myself a large Courvoisier [she went for a can of Heino] and by the time the second song played on my Capenters greatest hits she was undressed. I wanted her out of the house ASAP but I wanted my holy grail that eluded me all these years. So I flipped her around and anally penetrated her. It was heavenly, so tight each pump more delightful then the last, every time she moaned in pain [I am well hung] it turned me on. This tart was not getting any lubricant either and I was gonna ejaculate any minute, to keep myself from climaxing I tried thinking of Munster Rugby fans and it worked  to a degree but I now had my fun and it was time to ejaculate, and I did as I was testicles deep inside her.

I exited her rear end and threw her her dress and rang her a taxi. I gave her the three cans of Heino that I had in the fridge and sent her packing back to the slums. I needed a shower and I decided from now on I would try anal sex on a regular basis. Then suddenly I noticed something at the end of my penis, it was brown and on closer inspection it appeared to be excrement I vomitted all over the marble interior of my bathroom. As I wiped the feces from myself I then declared I would never engage in this act again. 

Just a question, what did you expect on the top of your knob? 

SWEETCORN AND PEANUTS