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Paul McGrath
Paul McGrath


Joined: 06 Feb 2007
Location: Romania
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: joke
    Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 10:03am
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course,
lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said,
'Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any
windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix.'

The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the
biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, 'I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.'

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, 'Come on
in.' They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.' the husband replied.

'No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a
thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to
grant three wishes-I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last
one for myself.'

'OK, great!' the husband said. ' I want a million dollars a year for
the rest of my life.' 'No problem-it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?' the genie said, looking at the wife.
'I want a house in every country of the world,' she said.
'Consider it done.' the genie replied.

'And what's your wish, genie?', the husband said.
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with
a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.'

The husband looks at the wife and said, 'Well, we did get a lot of
money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care.' The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours.

After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and
said, 'How old is your husband, anyway?'
'35.' she replied.

'And he still believes in genies?....That's amazing
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Liam Brady
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 10:20am
One day a hippy gets on a bus full of nuns. He looks around and sees
one that is looking particularily good. He got all excited and went up
to the nun and said "I want to **** you."

"No!" Replied the nun I am a woman of the lord I will never sleep with you

The hippy was really depressed, but on his way off the bus the bus
driver told him that the nun goes to the church to pray everynight at
midnight. All he had to do was get a God mask and tell her to screw him.

At exactly midnight the hippy spotted the nun go into the church, he
put on his mask, approached the nun and said, "I am God **** me."

The nun then replied " Ok God, but only up the bum though."

The hippy agreed and they were at it for ages.

When they were done the hippy took off his mask and shouted "Ha, Ha
I'm the hippy!"


The nun then took off her mask and said "Ha, ha, I'm the bus driver."
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Paul McGrath
Paul McGrath


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 10:26am
haha great stuff tirchoanill!ClapLOL
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#TEAMJAVIER #ENGANCHE

Joined: 15 Feb 2007
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 10:42am
brilliant TC
The first time the Devil made me do it. The second time I did it on my own.
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SISAO? What the hell is SISAO?

Joined: 27 Jan 2008
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 11:17am
Quality jokes lads!
YBIG Table Quiz winner 2016 & 2017
AS YOU WERE McGx

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Liam Brady
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 4:56pm
its the honeymoon of an english guy and his beautiful thai bride.
after a real long sex session, she lies there stroking his cock.
he says to her "you really like my cock don't you"

she replies "no i am just missing mine".
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Jack Charlton
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2008 at 11:42pm
Stephen Ireland and John Terry were walking along a country road when they saw a sheep with his head stuck in a fence. Quick as a flash, Terry pulls down his trousers and has at the poor sheep stuck in the fence. After he had his evil way with the poor animal he turns to Stephen Ireland and says "Now its your turn!" So Stephen pulls down his strides and sticks his head in the fence....
There are friendlier places to drink.
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Liam Brady
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jun 2008 at 4:56pm
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror
complaining to my husband that my breasts are too
small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,
he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take
a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a
few seconds'.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet
paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it
between my breasts.

'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my
husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of
toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my
breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says,
'Worked for your arse, didn't it?
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Robbie Keane
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sPICE UP YOUR LIFE Gwan MONROY

Joined: 29 Mar 2007
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jul 2008 at 8:07am
Newly wed couple, virgins, arrive at the hotel for their honeymoon.
 
They're extremely nervous and the receptionist asks the new bride, "Have you reservations?"
 
The bride shifts uncomfortably but eventually answers........"Erm, yes, I won't take it up the arse........."
We'll never die, we'll never die, we'll keep the Green Flag flying high......Shamrock Rovers will never die, we'll keep the Green Flag Flying high. 18 Leagues and 25 Cups.....
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Liam Brady
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jul 2008 at 5:43am
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.
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Why is a Launderette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.   LOL LOL
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can >walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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