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Proper Football Clubs™ |
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sid waddell 
Roy Keane 
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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 Topic: Proper Football Clubs™Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:06pm |
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Calling a football club a Proper Football Club™ is an insult disguised as a compliment. A Proper Football Club™ cannot be one of the really big clubs. A Proper Football Club™ is a "big club", but not proper big, which is to say, smaller than the real big clubs. A Proper Football Club™ has a large and passionate supporter base - just not as large as that of the real big clubs - and who are used to being kicked in the teeth but keep coming back as they have no other interests.
A Proper Football Club™ is battling back, or down and out, or finding new and glorious ways to fail humiliatingly. A Proper Football Club™ has not moved to a new stadium. They play in an aging, increasingly decrepit cathedral of football which is all the better for being aging and decrepit. A Proper Football Club™ fell behind the changes in the game and has a history of terrible owners and/or spectacular financial mismanagement. A Proper Football Club™ has a soul that has somehow survived all the attacks on it. The current archetypal Proper Football Club™ is Leeds United. Last year it was Aston Villa. Everton is a Proper Football Club™. Newcastle United is sometimes a Proper Football Club™. Wolverhampton Wanderers are sort of a Proper Football Club™. So are Tottenham Hotspur, who were defiantly a Proper Football Club™ until they knocked down their stadium and rebuilt it. Because the new stadium is in the same location, they get a sort of a pass. Former Proper Football Clubs™ are Manchester City and Sunderland, but these are no longer Proper Football Clubs™. Manchester City's peak of Proper Football Clubness™ was when Jamie Pollock scored that own goal and they brought 10 or 15,000 fans to Stoke on the last day of the season, won 6-1 and still got relegated to the third division. Sunderland's peak of Proper Football Clubness™ was the 1992 FA Cup Sixth Round win over Chelsea when Gordon Armstrong hit a cannonball of a header from the edge of the box off a corner. Potential future Proper Football Clubs™ are Sheffield Wednesday, Birmingham City and Bristol City. Internationally, Proper Football Clubs™ are Feyenoord, SV Hamburg, Atletico Madrid, Olympique Marseille, Napoli, Roma, Fiorentina, Benfica, Red Star Belgrade, Dynamo Kiev, Steaua Bucharest and Anderlecht. Edited by sid waddell - 18 Jul 2020 at 2:46pm |
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Roberto Baggio
Robbie Keane
UNBELIEVABLE JEFF Joined: 28 Jan 2010 Status: Offline Points: 37331 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:08pm |
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Remember both well Felt you were hinting at Leeds for most of this
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:11pm |
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A Proper Football Club™ has a proper hooligan element.
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:13pm |
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Wolves' peak of Proper Football Clubness™ was when this fan/hooligan fell through the roof of the terrace at Scarborough on the opening day of the 1987/88 Fourth Division.
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:30pm |
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Other peaks of Proper Football Clubness™:
Sheffield Wednesday: Fans celebrating on the pitch on the final day of the 1989/90 season as they thought they had stayed up - they hadn't - the scoreboard was showing a false scoreline from Luton's match - Luton had not drawn, they had won. Manchester City: i) Beating Huddersfield 10-1 in the 1987/88 season, ii) keeping the ball in the corner flag against Liverpool on the final day of the 1995/96 season to waste time as they thought they'd stay up if the scores stayed as they were - then Niall Quinn had to race in from the sideline to tell them to attack, they went down Everton: i) coming back from 2-0 down to beat Wimbledon on the final day of the 1993/94 season and avoid relegation ii) the 1995 FA Cup semi-final when they landed Spurs and the famous five on their collective arses West Ham: Trevor Brooking coming in as manager for the last four games of 2002/03, winning them all and still being relegated Schalke 04: supporters celebrating their long awaited first Bundesliga title in 2001 on the pitch after their last match at the Parkstadion (where Wim Kieft scored that flukey header against us in '88), they were 2-0 down to some diddy relegated team and won 5-3, Hamburg scored in the 90th minute against Bayern Munich to hand them the title, then Bayern Munich equalised in the 94th minute to deny Schalke the title Newcastle: Kevin Keegan walking in February 1992 and turning a team bound for relegation to the third division into world beaters, the peak of it was Newcastle winning the first 13 matches of 1992/93 Nottingham Forest are another defiantly Proper Football Club™.
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Roberto Baggio
Robbie Keane
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:31pm |
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Why are Forest defiant about it
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:37pm |
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You can't get more defiantly Proper Football Club™ than a twice European Cup-winning club - one of only eight clubs to retain the European Cup - stinking it out in the Championship for over two decades. That's defiance.
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coyne
Paul McGrath 
Joined: 17 Aug 2013 Location: Sunderland Status: Offline Points: 15881 |
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Posted: 17 Jul 2020 at 11:48pm |
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Nah that's just being sh*t. From the nutjob owner they had in the mid 2010's to hiring Martin O'Neill they can't call themselves anything.
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:06am |
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Coyne is a Sunderland fan.
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Cabra Hoop
Roy Keane
Joined: 06 Feb 2012 Location: Royal County Status: Offline Points: 10836 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:23am |
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be a proper club Edited by Cabra Hoop - 18 Jul 2020 at 12:26am |
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" BFC always gives me a laugh........ "
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Roberto Baggio
Robbie Keane
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:26am |
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A proper football club had a main stand that was bigger and looked out of place to the other three sides of the ground
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Het-field
Roy Keane
By Appointment to His Majesty The King Joined: 08 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 10646 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 9:16am |
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I always thought the term “proper football club” was a swipe at the clubs in the PL era who spent years scrabbling around the lower leagues, only to have an owner arrive, build a yellow pack Stadium in an industrial estate, get promoted several times over a few years, arrive in the PL with a young hungry manager, before sacking him off when relegation becomes an issue and hiring a Merry-go-round man who signs a few journeyman players keeping them up for a bit before it becomes too difficult for them to close the gap, they get relegated, and never come back or yo-yo a few times.
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Jackal
Liam Brady
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 10:09am |
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In Scotland, it's always the other way around. The main stand is always the small stand.
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ErsatzThistle
Liam Brady
Joined: 05 Nov 2013 Location: Glasgow Status: Offline Points: 1013 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 11:51am |
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For some reason I do remember during Portsmouth's calamitous final season to date in the Premier League (when they ended up in administration), Paul Merson claiming on Soccer Saturday that it was deeply unfair what was happening to them: "Coz they is a proper Premier League football club innit Jeff !" What exactly made them a "proper Premier League football club" he didn't explain. Would someone like to have a go ?
Edited by ErsatzThistle - 18 Jul 2020 at 11:52am |
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 11:58am |
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The Pompey chimes and their old world stadium and the Royal Navy and everybody singin' Land Of Hope and Glory and waving Union Jacks as our boys sailed off for the Falklands innit
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Het-field
Roy Keane
By Appointment to His Majesty The King Joined: 08 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 10646 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:07pm |
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Honestly, I think there is something inherently true to the idea of a "proper" club, simply because fans lean in to the idea. A common refrain from the away end at West Ham games, is "you're not West Ham anymore". There is a lot in that which speaks to a mindset amongst football fans.
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:08pm |
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More peaks of Proper Football Clubness™:
Aston Villa: i) Tiger Tim Sherwood's FA Cup heroics of 2015 - the pitch invasion after beating West Brom in the Sixth Round Proper and Proper Villa Man Jack Grealish's Wembley masterclass against Liverpool in the semi-final ii) The promotion charge of 2019 under Proper Villa Man Dean Smith including a Villa Goal Of The Season competition that would have done justice to the 1986 World Cup. Proper Villa Man Jack Grealish's outrageous goal at Bramall Lane against another Proper Football Club™, Sheffield United. Jumpers for goalposts. Proper Villa Man Ian Taylor filming himself leading a chant underneath the stand after that match.
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sid waddell
Roy Keane
On a dark desert highway Joined: 20 Nov 2009 Status: Offline Points: 12173 |
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Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 12:16pm |
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Frank Lampard and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer are both vain attempts to recover Proper Football Clubness™ on the part of Chelsea and Manchester United.
Every time Frank Lampard does an interview in which he comes across as surly, and then tries a lame attempt at a joke before saying "No, but seriously...", Chelsea supporters bask in an imagined warm, soothing bath of Proper Football Clubness™. The "He's one of our own..." chant is an attempt to bask in an imagined warm, soothing bath of Proper Football Clubness™. Hovis, Bovril, a pint of bitter, a meat pie and fish and chips in newspaper wrapping, please.
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sid waddell wrote: