€100 per head 

 

 

Usually give €150 between me and the wife. €250 if it's a real close friend. One of my mates gave me €400 for my wedding and he didn't even bring a partner with him. I'm dreading when he gets married.

Zizu Cavan 

 

People who have wedding lists are generally massive kunts alright.

Anyone who has a wedding list is a full kunt and doesn't deserve a thing imo.

 

Usually do €150 between the two of us and free guestlist for EP as an added bonus

Never what to be mean really .

my mates had their wedding abroad (Portugal Villamoura) so was about €800-1000 or close too it for flights and hotel for week. We and the mates who went initially said we wouldn't give anything as we'd spent all that money going over for it. but two days before wedding they had this massive BBQ which must have cost them a fortune so so we all agree to put 100 quid into the wedding cards

I'm not a fan of evening invitations. Occasionally, you will come across a very well managed evening party where the evening guests will be treated to a glass of champagne on arrival, the first of the evening food will be put out, and the cake will have been cut and distributed, and there will remain a few quid behind the bar for a glass of red wine, or a pint of Guinness. They will arrive when the meal has been finished, and the last vestiges of it have been cleaned away. 

However, more often than not it will be miscalculated, and the evening guests will arrive while the dinner is not over and the speeches are still ongoing. They will stand awkwardly in the doorway while the speech makers fumble through their duties, occasionally relying on the guests imbibing of the wine to heighten the laugh factor. Then, the evening guests will be pointed towards the cash bar, and try and to match those who have been there all day. No guarantee of nibbles, or evening food. Just the pleasure of showing up for the candid photos.

Ireland is one country where the concept of "afters" is tolerated more than others, and I'll never understand it. And like you Rossieman, I will generally decline.

Yer it all went to plan really as you know Vegas is Vegas but San Diego was outstanding very much worth a trip I must say .

because a lot of people are ****s 

Likewise. I can vaguely remember a thread in the Whatever section that featured a host of outstanding stories - I can't remember which thread it was though! It could have even been a thread about best men speeches that morphed into a general wedding debacle one but it was amazing. If some kind gent can recall this thread and wanted to give it an aul bump that would be great.

 

Its funny, before I got married I wouldn't have thought stuff like that would bother me but it did. Had the same issue with 3 couples not turning up, one I only spoke to the week before. Another was a friend who told me the night before that he couldn't make it and would see me at the afters - never showed and never heard anything from him for about 6 months. His missus apologised a few years after for missing it but never said why, I didn't care at that stage. Things never been the same since

Anyway unbeknownst to me one of the mates had a friend of his with him on the night yer wan first emerged and the dirty coont told his sister who turned out to know my mot and of course been a nosey coont she asked the mot had we broken up when she got back from Australia because i had not gone, to which the mot said no, and of course the nosey coont followed up with (yes you got it) Oh when i seen him with ***** ******* i though you's were finished, well you's know the rest and nothing was going to fix it.

Forward on 4 years and out 1 night with a girl we bump into the ex with her new fella and got talking for about half an hour and something in me head was saying i know yer man from somewhere so i asked the ex and lo an behold it was only the fcker that had been in our company on the night i met the bird in the pub the coont that squelt to his sister the dirty coont, anyway the ex starts getting a bit soppy and asks would it be okay if we meet up to have a chat well i'm a free spirt and say yes, so to cut a long story short we meet over a couple of drinks and i get the feeling there is still something there between us but she tells me your man asked to to marry him and what did i think, i just said sure if you are happy why not and if you are not say no, have to say i got out of there and was quiet sad that i had fcked all this up as i knew by the way i felt that i still was mad about her.

After numerous phone calls and not having the balls to tell her how i felt and her not willing to do the same the date was approaching for the wedding and an invitation was giving to me but just for myself no plus 1, the girl i was knocking off at the time was not impressed but she did not know the extent of the link between us, she said to me you are not going to a wedding without me and i agreed (did not think i would be able to stomach it anyway, watching the girl i wanted but fcked it all up) anyway 2 days before the wedding i was due to go to a party with the mot and pulled the oul i am dying sick with the flu, sher go with your mates it will be grand i said as i decided to plot going to the wedding.

So anyway day of the wedding and i am still will i wont i, so say fck it a day out i will know most there and they will know me sure what could go wrong, proceed to the church and am welcomed with open arms by most of her family, i got on really well with them anyway especially her brothers who were sound and her sisters who were good craic, sure we used to babysit their kids (many's a good night had in their houses when the kids had gone asleep ) so we proceeded to the hollybrook hotel for the festivities and after the dinner and all the usual shoite speeches in which the coonts groomsman made a passing remark in which i was mentioned and got a good laugh from his half of the room, one of the ex's brothers said to me are you going to let him get away with that, i did not know what to say never mid what to do i just wanted to leave but i was convinced to stay, anyway i was making my way back from the jacks to the bar when the ex called me in the hallway to talk to me and was trying to apologise for the w**ker putting shoite like that in the speech (i wont lie i felt the tears welling up in my eyes as i looked ah her standing there and thinking that it should be me in the room sitting at the top table in my wedding suit but i just held them back but she could see i was hurting) she took me by the hand and we walked to the reception area and had a heart to heart and i let her know how i felt but wished her all the very best in marriage but she said why did i not do this before hand i was sad that i had said this now but she would not let it go, so i had to say what was bugging me about the incident back those years ago and how that sneaky coont had wormed his way to her by fckin squealing on me and then moving in for the kill (would probably do it myself if i liked the girl enough ) the coont was now coming out to the reception area with a couple of his gobshoites to ask what was going on and what i was at so i said just having a chat with a very good friend and she backed me up to which he replied well everyone is waiting on her and she should get back in the room, she said she would be a few minutes as we were not finished talking and sent him on his way to my glee  her brother had come out to make sure nothing physical was going to happen "ahem" as he said to me you should have clocked the coont, the sneaky coont certainly was not a family favourite  the brother said to us to take our time. Next thing i know we are walking upstairs holding hands and i find myself standing at her door with lips locking horns, enter the room and straight onto the bed jaysus some job banging a bird in a wedding dress and her not wanting to get "anything on it" it was a great ride fairly quick but great  we headed back to the reception area about 15 after the event where she proceeded to walk back intothe room and i just hung back and all i could see was her brother standing there looking at me with a big smirk on his face and then saying "i meant get the fcking groomsman back not the fckin groom but sure fck it he is a coont too " we just laughed and wandered back in, i had a huge smile on my face everytime i looked at the smug coont kissing his bride knowing where my cock had been just a short time earlier

 They broke up about 5 years later she was never happy 

There's a suprise 

DOC arriving with his wedding gift

That's no friend - what a coont

Or even approach one of the tv stations and offer it as a storyline for one of their soaps. 

 

Some Fair City yarn there Dublin Doc..........,  sure how would you have left any marks on a white dress unless you took her up the gicker using the dress as a jonny?

 

Bot meets girl, boy loses girl, years later boy shags girl for old time sake.....

We had 238 at our wedding, a lot of friends and close relations on both sides. Had the usual thing with the parents where they had certain friends they felt should be invited and we had to pare back the list from about 260. Had let people know that cash would be appropriate as we already had a gaff and had been living together years so had pretty much everything we needed.

Was only the following day when we were settling up with the hotel that we twigged, we'd have been better off letting the folks invite who they want, there's a sweet spot where you can actually end up in the black with a big crowd as the cost of the band, service musicians, whatever you have entertainment wise for the drinks reception, wedding cake etc is always the same regardless of how many people are there. Once you have that covered. Think it was €55 per head the hotel charged us for the meal, champagne reception, late night snacks etc so at an average of €150 per couple, would have been making profit once we had the set costs covered. Think we just about broke even after the cost of a round for everyone after the meal but another 20 or 30 bodies and we possibly could have covered the honeymoon! 

Some nightmare counting the cash in the hotel the following day after boozing till 7 in the morning on the night itself, mind you.....