I don't but out of curiosity how close is close?

Renting the space under my stairs for 800 a month if you like. For use Sunday to Friday only. 

Hopefully be within a 20-30 minute drive from the city 

Was amazed, mustn't be as hard to get somewhere as it's made out.

He started going out with his now fiancé in about 2014. They got engaged early 2018. The wedding date is set for this time next year. She basically moved in more or less as soon as they started going out. I’ve been a third wheel for a while but it’s always seemed basically okay and neither of them seemed to have an issue, mostly because we’ve all always known it wasn’t permanent. 

I’ve always been clear that I’d be looking to buy a place of my own well before the wedding, and be gone at least three or four months beforehand, if not longer. I’ve never had any indication that any of that was a difficulty. I have the guts of a decent deposit now (almost 20% of what I’d be looking to buy, with a bit of help from the folks) but being (a) self employed and (b) single, it’s tough to persuade banks to lend me enough money to actually buy a place, and I haven’t really started looking yet. 

I was out at a quiz this evening. I came back at half ten and her car wasn’t outside. It turns out that they’ve had a massive row, she’s staying with a friend, after threatening to move out, and the gist of it is that she wants me gone, seemingly f**king yesterday. There was absolutely no warning this was coming, not to me, at least. 

Am I meant to move now, rent somewhere else, pay a heap extra in rent compared to what I’m currently paying, assuming i can find somewhere, delay my own ability to buy a place, and basically throw money down the drain, primarily to appease her? Am I meant to back down as part of an argument I wasn’t even part of because she won’t talk to me about it? It seems to me that if I moved out ASAP, frankly I’d be rewarding her for the adult equivalent of throwing her toys out of the pram. I don’t want to cause any friction in their relationship, but what the f**k am I meant to do? It’s already happened and it’s already a far bigger issue than I had any idea. 

My mate is understandably stuck in the middle but I don’t really know what he wants - like he says, I shouldn’t be made to feel like sh*t, and basically unwelcome, in what has been my home for over seven years, but that’s exactly what it feels like. I’m stressed as f**k right now. It’s not his fault at all and I know I should be taking more steps to get my own place, but what the f**k am I supposed to do? If I move out now and rent somewhere else, I’m basically costing myself loads of money, all to protect their relationship, because she can’t wait a few more months, and I get this sprung on me with no warning whatsoever. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah. The longer I stay, the more it seems I might jeopardise their relationship, and I definitely don’t want to be responsible for that. But if I move out, I’m giving in to her blackmail, and for what? My mate isn’t going to ask me to move out now but it seems he might be under pressure to ask me to move. There’s no doubt he’s in a tough position and if I move out, it would be to help him, rather than her. 

I almost want to pack my stuff and go now, but make sure she knows I think she’s a thundering bitch. I can’t even sleep I’m so f**king stressed. 

A) move out and cost myself a fortune in extra rent, delaying my own ability to buy a house 

Or 

B) potentially f**k up a relationship between my mate and his fiancé, but only because she has thrown the toys out of the pram, without any warning

I’m grand for riding either of them. I might move out, but steal the dogs when I do. 

Really it's up to him.  . 

At 8an or 11pm.  

When push comes to shove, if he's serious about his relationship with his missus then he's going to end up siding with her in the end whether he wants to or not. If you want to keep the friendship then it's probably going to mean that you have to move out to do it. So I'd probably offer to move out but obviously let him know that you will need some time to sort yourself a new place due to the scarcity of affordable rooms etc (gives you the excuse to drag your feet a bit on it !) and then let him try and square that off with his missus. If she has a problem still then that's with her as you can do no more.

Did you get on with her beforehand? 

He wants to do 

He wants you to do 

Their row sounds like it was about something else and you got caught in the crossfire

He might be having second thoughts and is looking for a way out. 

If he gives in he is fuked for the rest of his married life - he might as well give her his balls now 

No matter what I wouldn’t be going anywhere near the wedding 

The voice of experience

you were not invited

Frankly, I don’t want to move twice. I don’t want to put my mate in a terrible position either though. I think the best thing for them is for me to move out ASAP (undoubtedly, I suppose) but that is really backing down in an argument I have no part it. Ots definitely not best for me. It would absolutely gall me to move out by the end of the month just to placate toddler like behaviour, especially when it is something that will cost me money, and really isn’t in my interests, but I owe it to him more than I owe it to her. I can’t leave him having to make the decision - it’s not fair on him. It’s just a matter of seeing how long I can get and finding somewhere else. 

I sure as hell don’t want her saying she’s not moving back til I’m gone. I just hope it doesn’t come to that. 

That does sound like the an amazing dish, Where was this mentioned before was it things that annoy you thread

Also was the lad who fiance the same guy who didn't show up for this amazing dinner? Did he not show up for this dinner because of her? if the answer to both of these is Yes then throw it back in his face

Not having a go at your mate by any means but surely he can tell you as it is and put you clear on the reasons and state of play? People are odd as f**k.

No just women.

 

Now I know you have stuff on your plate,but I’ve a question for you in the Ryanair thread mate

 

Regardless of what happens here, this is going to somewhat sour your relationship with your mate. If you're forced to move out you'll hate her, if you stay she'll probably leave your mate and that's that.

 

Either way this is a really sh*t situation she has put you both in. She's just a selfish arsehole and I feel sorry for your mate having to put up with that nonsense.

Sorry to hear that SD. She sounds like a proper coont and there could be more to it that you don't know about. I agree with what Borussia's said above, think it's probably the best thing to do. 

 

I feel for your mate in all this as that poor lad is in a real pickle no matter what happens .

Free gaff.

Wants the ring on the finger, half the house.

Bonnet de deuce.

 

It's a sh*t situation no doubt.

I think it's time for you to move you (you probably know this yourself)

However you can't do that in a couple of days in most towns never mind Dublin.She has to understand this or be made to understand it.

Also she has to understand that she can't make cause such upheaval in someone's life just because she has a bad case of the blobs.To bow down to that kind of selfish unreasonable behaviour would be a bad marker to set for your mate going forward.

So, just to be clear, the consensus is that I'm a third wheel, with no social awareness, who needs to move out now, and should have copped this months if not years ago, while my mate is yellow for not mentioning anything to me before now, despite her having mentioned this to him before, but his fiance is still completely overreacting and being totally inflexible, and I need to get out to avoid ruining both my friendship with my mate and their relationship with each other, but somehow do that without it being both me and my mate rewarding her selfish behaviour?

The thing that gets me most is that I've paid my mate tens of thousands in rent over the years and she hasn't so much as put a fiver towards the ESB.

 

Yeah but she has a fanny

She's sounds horrible.

If this doesn't end well make sure you mention your last paragraph before leaving

 

No, but I'm assuming she sucks him off. You're better off continuing to pay the bills instead of coming to a similar arrangement.

Once you announce you have definite plans, will be moving out and just need some time, she will probably calm down. Sometimes things can build in a person's head and once they say it and get some clarity they then realise it isn't as important as they had convinced themselves it was.

I'm surprised they as a couple didn't politely ask you to move out before this. It surely would make sense to live on their own to make sure they are happy and comfortable with each other before even getting engaged, but that's for the past now.

Once you move out you know that you have done the right thing . Try not to go out with all guns blazing if you want to stay friends .

My advice would be to play the game. Print off places to rent from Daft.ie and even go to a few viewings so she thinks you are trying.

Call her and ask her out for a drink (without your mate) to go through your plans with her. If you get her on her own when she has calmed down, and she thinks you are on her side, you'll be grand.

If that fails, you need to go and sleep in a garda station, call the Sun to come and take your picture and put you on the front page the next day, and you'll have a free house within a week.

 

Just throwing that out there SD

It seems that they want me out by the end of the year. I won't be able to buy somewhere before then so it looks like I'm going to be renting somewhere else.

Great. Absolutely great. I'm going to have to move twice. If this was a normal tenancy, I'd be entitled to 196 days notice, or about six and a half months.

SD at least there is a decision maybe not one you wanted I am sure you will land on your feet

Seems fair enough SD.You have had the benefit of cheaper rent for a number of years and they arent turfing you out straightaway.If it was a normal tenancy you probably would have a lot less savings and possibly moved a few times over the years,

Probably the best scenario all round,your mate doesn't need to fall out with you or his missus.

TBH I dont know how you stuck it out for 4 years and this day was always going to come.

That sounds pretty good, you've come out alright! Everything's coming up Milhouse.

+1.

Some of the posts are might not you want to hear but if you forget about the girl being a coont, how is their relationship supposed to develop otherwise? Circumstances change unfortunately but one day you will be the one saying I’m having no one else in except from my own girl 

I know it’s not ideal in the short term but the bigger picture is you’ve done alright out of it for a good while. 

The poor me dramatics might be a little OTT, no offence 

His friend is basically operating under the rent a room scheme and standard tenancy agreements do not come under this nor should they. He could easily have given a month's notice.

It is unfortunate timing for you Dave, but under the circumstances comes across as very fair. Maybe you could stay short term in a disused train carriage 

wearing your work clothes having a wank on the couch to Judge Rinder on the telly while she is in the kitchen chopping veg isn't very social aware i must say

Big time, I don’t think you’re getting shafted whatsoever, you’ve had a very good arrangement for a very long time and you know that deep down. 

Hopefully you can find a short term rental that will tie you over until you find somewhere to buy. 

Yeah, I know I've had it good for a long time - just the ending was sharp and unexpected, when it seemed the deal was already clear.

I'll be gone by the end of the year.

Looks like you'll have more competition.

The ending is hardly sharp, you have until the end of the year.100 odd days,They could have asked you to move a lot sooner. 

Squeeze them for every day. Move out 31st December 

That's what I'd do 

If it was a normal residential tenancy, I'd be entitled to 196 days. And by sharp, I mean the way everything has happened, nothing more than that.

But it wasn't and you were aware of that from day one I presume?

Sorry SD    

If the dog is allowed to sit on the sofa with a boner, why am I not?

I still think you’ve got plenty of time to get yourself sorted and he has been very sound to you over the years.

I chuckled too, never worry.

Wait until the 31st December and say "Can't believe it's only 3 months left to the end of the financial year and our agreement."

Yes but it would have cost you a lot more over that time also.  

Also remember your mate has been paying a mortgage and he provided you a place to stay and your provided him cash.  A good set up for both of you that suited you both I wouldn't be trying to make a compliment out of paying your rent.  that is just standard behaviour.  

I reckon his gf has been saying to him for ages to ask you to move out and he has put it off out of loyalty to you and she has blown her gasket over it.   .

 I still think it's the kick up the ass SD needs to get out of there . I think sharing is the way to go until he buys his own place .

I don't even like living with myself!

Il Principe wrote: Moral of this story, living with other people sucks!!

And back to the original point, does anyone have a room to rent in Dublin?

Plus points: I'm creditworthy, and I won't score your missus.

Minus points: The reason I won't score your missus is cos she'll hate my f**king guts and make both our lives hell.

" remember that time you made me homeless!"....

She will be forever in your back pocket!

Just cut your losses and move on. Your savings may be affected, but there is no joy in staying in a place you are a no longer wanted.

Best looking for mate who will rent with you or look for a room to spare.Or cuddle up with some aul one looking for a toyboy

You would be surprised SD

I’m a raging 28 year old sexpest and I seem to be doing alright for myself! 

Theres someone out there for everyone!