Moving out/Spare Room to rent in Dublin?

pre Madonna wrote: If he had any balls he would dump her. She must really love him, sorry, the house, to issue an ultimatum like that.

I know it's time to move out. It's just that because I want to buy somewhere, rather than rent, it is definitely going to take a bit of time. I don't want to rent again, spending extra cash, and having to move twice. If I have to, I will, but I certainly don't want to rent again. I've been waiting on stuff from my accountant for a few months before I can go looking for a mortgage (the joys of being self-employed) and I know it'll take at least four, if not six, months from then to find somewhere, although I've a fair idea how much they'll lend me. I just assumed I had until about April time one way or the other, and then this is sprung on me. It seems totally unreasonable to spring this now, without any warning, and blackmail my mate (and by extension me) by threatening to move out unless I do.

That's my plan now, yeah.

SuperDave84 wrote: I don’t know if the row was over something else. I don’t really think it was but either way it’s been going on a while but it’s all news to me (I’ve basically not been here for the last two weeks). I’ve generally got on fine with her or so I thought but it seems she hasn’t thought the same - though that’s not been mentioned to me either.  Frankly, I don’t want to move twice. I don’t want to put my mate in a terrible position either though. I think the best thing for them is for me to move out ASAP (undoubtedly, I suppose) but that is really backing down in an argument I have no part it. Ots definitely not best for me. It would absolutely gall me to move out by the end of the month just to placate toddler like behaviour, especially when it is something that will cost me money, and really isn’t in my interests, but I owe it to him more than I owe it to her. I can’t leave him having to make the decision - it’s not fair on him. It’s just a matter of seeing how long I can get and finding somewhere else.  I sure as hell don’t want her saying she’s not moving back til I’m gone. I just hope it doesn’t come to that.

You need to sit down with her (coont that she is) and explain exactly what your plans are again, surely a couple more months for you to get yer sh*t sorted should be no major problem for her unless she is conflicted and want to fck your brains out and is finding it harder and harder to contain herself  seriously if your mate gives into this sh*t now his life is basically f**ked from here on in and will be taking it up the Swiss off her for the rest of his natural if he does marry her

SuperDave84 wrote: So, just to be clear, the consensus is that I'm a third wheel, with no social awareness, who needs to move out now, and should have copped this months if not years ago, while my mate is yellow for not mentioning anything to me before now, despite her having mentioned this to him before, but his fiance is still completely overreacting and being totally inflexible, and I need to get out to avoid ruining both my friendship with my mate and their relationship with each other, but somehow do that without it being both me and my mate rewarding her selfish behaviour? The thing that gets me most is that I've paid my mate tens of thousands in rent over the years and she hasn't so much as put a fiver towards the ESB.

Edited by kimbap - 20 Sep 2018 at 1:10pm

What's the going rate for a rattle in Dublin? She has been paying her way alright!

You'd always planned on leaving anyway and he has surely told her about that, what got at her to go off on one now instead of discussing it with you first? Hopefully she'll calm down and get a bit more reasonable but you're going to have to have a chat with her alright as said above just to tell her your side and plans. Unless she's a right coont she'll be ok with it

Most of us lads don't realise that arguments with girls are rarely about the subject at hand. But that's for your friend and her to resolve.