More Silly Girl Comments

Here's a starter for daft things women say about football. My best mate,

she's blond, thought that offside was when the ball went OFF the SIDE of

the pitch.

Paul Clarkson, Everton

..."I don't understand why everyone is so excited, there wasn't this much

fuss last year" - A stunner called Cara Walker, so I kept my mockery to a

minimum.

Charlie Longe, London

...The Local Oz Bar Maid during Saturday's friendly commented:

"That fella's not trying very hard!"

Only feeling embarrassed and going bright red when the Old Boy at the bar

pointed out it was the Referee.

Scotty

....From my lovely lady - "I'll let you watch the World Cup this year, but

you have to promise me you won't watch all the world cup matches next

summer".

But this one was my favourite" What division are Jamaica in?"

Jose

...She: "So Who's the England goalie then?"

He: "Paul Robinson."

She: "What, the one from Neighbours?"

Steven Spinola

...'But surely if Rooney's injured we can put Thierry Henry in instead and

he's

good isn't he?' - Courtesy of Anna Wheeler

Anon

...My Australian wife (Caz Ball, consider yourself named and shamed!)

asked how they decided who played the first game in the World Cup. I

explained that

it was usually the holders but it is now the hosts.

She thought for a second and asked "Well, how do they decide who plays in

the last match?"

Ted Ball

...Over lunch with a colleague, this week:

American woman: "So whose playing in the first game of the World Cup -

Barcelona and who else?"

Me: "Germany and Costa Rica."

American woman: "So who are Barcelona playing against?"

Me: "Barcelona is a city in Spain, not a country. It's a tournament for

national teams."

American woman: "Right, right. So who are Barcelona, Spain playing

against?"

No word of a lie.

Richard Marshall

...Overheard at a restaurant on Sunday in Co.Cork, Ireland:

Wife: "Are we in the World Cup?"

Husband: "No, we didn't qualify"

Wife: "I'll be shouting for Barcelona then."

Denis Hurley, Co. Cork

...My mum started early this year in her pretending to be interested in

football tomfoolery. After the Champions League final she asked me who

won, I informed her that Arsenal had lost and Barcelona had won, she

replied "Does that mean England aren't in the World Cup now" Numpty!

Darren Curtis

...Just last night after I came home with a brand new England white shirt

for my little brother, my girlfriend asks me why I have bought the 'home'

kit. To which I reply 'eh?'. Her witty comeback is a classic! "Well,

silly, the World Cup is in Germany so England won't be needing the home

kit will they? You should have bought the red one." Silly me.

Ben Chelton, Welling

...On overhearing a discussion at work between some of us non-Americans

about the tournament starting in two days, a young American lady added

"The World Cup, that's Tennis, isn't it?"

Sean Kinnear, English in the USA

...I was asked by an anonymous female friend why there were 5 teams in our

group and yet 4 in the others. She was disappointed when I pointed out

that Trinidad wouldn't actually be playing against Tobago in the

tournament!

Richard Saxton

...How's about this for the silly things women say?!? Sat watching telly

with my girlfriend last night she said the following:

"I've got a hair appointment in town at 2.30 this Saturday, would you mind

dropping me off and picking me up? I'll treat you to tea somewhere..."

Sorry love, you can walk!

Chris Jordan, LUFC, Hull

...Since we've been together, my girlfriend Julie has fully embraced my

passion for football with enthusiasm but has come out with some good ones.

Here is a small selection:

1. In the pub last night, a mate said he'd seen the film United 93. Julie

said: "I'm getting fed up of all this football talk."

2. We were watching MOTD when Jose brought on Duff, Cole and Robben when

chasing a game at the end of last season. Julie wondered why Motty said:

"Chelsea started the game without any but now they've got three white men

on the pitch". The concept of wide men hadn't landed on planet Julie yet.

3. MOTD were showing Citeh when Shaun Wright Phillips was in the team, who

she new about. The commentator then referred to Bradley Wright-Phillips,

and then showed him on camera. Julie said, "Are they related?"

4. When watching a game in the pub, the ads were on the telly at half

time. She looked up and saw the bloke in the wheelbarrow on the Wickes

advert. She thought the second half had started and they were taking an

injured player off in a barrow.

There have been others, but I can't remember them at the moment. As we

head into the World Cup, I am looking forward to posting any further gems.

John Smith, Handforth, Cheshire

...Looking through my World Cup 2006 sticker album (yes I know I'm too

Nistelrooy could play for Holland when he was still a Manchester United

player. Now bless her for listening to my rants about how sad it will be

for Ruud to be sold this summer, but she hasn't really got to grips with

the club and country aspect - unless they're English...

Alex Alderson

...When I was in Italy I bought a hat which had INTER written across the

top of it. One of the birds in my class goes "what happened the W?"

Johnny Q.

...During the recent England v Jamaica friendly, my lovely girlfriend Lori

remarked "I thought David Beckham played for Real Madrid?".

Oh dear.

Chris Davies

Ok...not a World Cup one but pretty stupid none the less:

Back in '96 when I was doing my A levels and Liverpool were on their way

to the infamous cream suit cup final fiasco with the Mancs we had drawn

the first game, maybe the quarter final I can't remember which now.

Anyway, the replay was a midweek one and as we were finishing our last

lecture of the day this girl Emma overhears me and the lads planning that

night's boozy footy viewing and shouts over:

"Dave, what are you lot up to tonight?"

Me: "Watching the game, it's the FA cup replay tonight."

Emma: "Replay? Why are you watching it when you already know the result?"

Cue the lads and half the girls falling about laughing and a very

stern-faced girl giving us all dirty looks. She still hasn't forgiven me

for that 10 years later....

Dave Walker

...This is going back to Euro 2000, but a female colleague at work had

just learned that Dennis Bergkamp was Dutch. She pondered for a moment,

and then asked "So, what happens when Holland play Arsenal?"

Rob Johnson, Bristol

...Me and my mentally challenged missus Rachel were watching the 10:30

news last night, I was quite surprised actually as she did not open her

mouth and embarrass herself once all day - Until about 10:50. The 1966

ENGLAND World Cup winners classic masterpiece that was recorded in 1982

for the world cup was on the news. In the clip it went round all the

players singing about themselves in which Martin Peters was zoomed in on.

Now I don't know why she said this and I don't really want to challenge

her mind as to why it came out, but she said about Martin Peters "He's

Scottish isn't he?".

I just looked at her in disbelief. Granted, she is Welsh, but I thought

she was different, Jesus Christ it had a big heading at the bottom saying

"England 1966 World cup winners" - Nevermind!

James Dunn

...Along the lines of stupid things that women say about the world cup, I

have a cracker...

I organised the office sweepstake for the world cup, and being the only

bloke this was never going to be easy. After I had cut out team names and

kits and put them in the bag ready for the draw the girls I work with

played a prank on me and replaced some teams from the draw with the likes

of 'Vatican City', 'Disney Land' and 'Antarctica'.

How very amusing!

Anyway, one girl walks over to see what we are doing, looks at the piece

of paper with Antarctica written on it (which has now been removed so I

could proceed with the serious draw) and promptly says the following:

"Antarctica!

I didn't even know they were in it. A load of Eskimo's running around on

the pitch! Ha Ha! They haven't got a chance blah blah blah'

I mean, seriously, give me strength.

Mr. Bash (I got Togo and Ivory Coast in the draw)

...Two welsh birds sat behind me on the Easyjet flight from Barcelona to

Gatwick on Sunday morning:

Bird One: "Hang on, David Beckham's English but he plays in Spain. Who's

he going to play for in the World Cup?"

Bird Two: "Good question, I really don't know"

As if that wasn't bad enough, the one in the seat directly behind me then

proceeded to vomit for the rest of the flight. Going British Airways next

time.

Moles