The disgraced John Delaney

It just keeps coming, these stories could go on for months 

Thank you John and Joseph if you are still watching

Severance payoff of, ach, around 19 million euros. Could have been 20 million, but hey, our main man isn't greedy. He had many other opportunities to earn more money outside of D'Fai ya know (rarely ever mentioned that aspect, weren't we lucky to have him all the same ?) 

The preserved head of Giovanni Trappatoni in a jar (a bit like Richard Nixon in Futurama) to permanently give sage advice on defensive midfielders eligible to play for us, and also to compare them (failing that, mention them in the same sentence) with great Italian footballers of yore. 

Lifetime personal bodyguard contract for Royston, who will guard the Big House in Wicklow, armed with only a hurl(ey), his thousand yard stare, a sarcastic tounge and a diet exclusively made up of raw meat. 

Some corporate types, preferably in cream or white suits (think Spice Boy Liverpool 1996 FA cup final here) shall be available on a rotational basis to listen to anecdotes about how our great leader once referred to actual proper businessmen working for the IRFU who knew what they were at financially, as ''pussies''.

Optional lifetime supply of blonde female golddiggers, though it is thought by those in the know that he might not take up this option for reasons unknown. 

3 more provincial football grounds to be named ''John Delaney Park'', including D'Aviva, which is in the province of Leinster and therefore qualifies as one of them. 

Life president of the organisations (originally set up by some random FAI persons unknown) set up in his honour, AKA FAI supporters Clubs, which entails a quid pro quo contract involving him buying beer on an unlimited FAI credit card for said same SC members in exchange for unequivocal praise from said same SC members. Sub clause also includes conferring of rights on said same SC members to vehemently disagree, up to & including the threat of violence, with mere ordinary fans that volunteer a slightly different opinion of the tenure of the greatest CEO the FAI have ever had. 

Permission for former Ybig poster Fintan to publically say ''Actually, on mature recollection, I was right about John'' (told ye all he was a great lad)

Lifetime directorship of, oh I dunno, maybe some completely random communications company based somewhere a long way from here. He could run anything ya know. 

CD boxset of the Wolfe Tone's greatest hits.

I'm probably selling the great man short with those few meagre suggestions, all of the above are the very least he deserves. Can only apologise for my lack of imagination as regards his potential severance, I'm kind of overcome with gratitude for all he has done for our game and me brain has turned to mush. 

4 Articles on the Fai I’m afraid that their reforms are looking paper thin after today.

Top link is dead. Fixed below.