"The Craic was Ninety in Copenhagen"

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   "The Craic was Ninety in Copenhagen"by sid waddell

Weren't we the rare oul' stock
Spent the mornin' gettin' locked
In the Airport bar
Where the high stools were engaging
Flew to Hamburg, Germany
Whacker's stomach was carried carefully 
Had a look around
And then four more pints, well they went down
That's an Irish football fan
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


Boarded the train at platform five
Oh what a time to be alive
Opened up a bag of yokes
Near some unsuspecting Danish folks
Then the boat train reached the dock
The boat she sailed at three o'clock
"Ah look at this" says Whack
"A train on a boat, sure that's some craic”
Carry him if you can
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

Before we reached the Danish coast
Well Whacker he did raise a toast 
On the deck of the boat, we had great sport
As the ship she sailed out from the port
Landed back on the train again 
With all the drunken Irishmen 
The journey didn't take too long
As we belted out the rebel songs
Bate that if you can
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

That night we went to an Irish pub
The place was heaving, full of Dubs
All went in for a mighty session 
In the pub they call the Rover
Whacker went lookin' for a fight
He punched a Mayo lad twice his height
And before he fled the scene
The Mayoman's colours changed to red and green
Whacker left and ran
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

Next morning went for a ramble round
To see the sights of Copenhagen Town
Oh the Palace was a lovely sight
But the Mermaid statue it was sh*te
Walked to the hippie commune then
We got talkin' there to two strange men
Got a wad of cash
And before Whacker knew it he'd a lump of hash
“Lads hide that if you can”
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

Took a journey out to the Carlsberg too
The place was full of horse's poo
Had a load of pints there
And we got them for no money
Came back into the town for more
We stood outside a knickers store
As the women came out on their own
Whacker took pictures with his phone
Oh keep it secret, man
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

Whacker fancied his good looks
With a Copenhagen woman he was struck
A Belfast lad was by her side
And he throwin' the jar into her
Whacker thought he'd hit the stage
He asked her for her Facebook page
Round the street they stepped it out
To Whack it was no bother
Everything was goin' to plan
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


That evenin' 'fore we hit the ground
There were girls and fellas fallin' round
There was an awful stink
Off the Irish with too much to drink
The place it looked like a battle zone
Three hours to kick-off still to go
Whacker was holdin' up his shoes 
As he drunk out of a can of booze
You wouldn't get it in Iran
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen

Some had a ticket and some of us not
So Whacker thought he'd take a shot
He had a look around
As he strolled about outside the ground
Got talkin' to a Danish tout 
200 quid it was the shout
And before we could shout “up Ireland”
Whacker had a ticket in his hand
We all drew up our plan
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


Well the stewards they said no colours green
In the Danish end could they be seen
But Whacker said “to hell with that”
As he wore an Ireland shirt and hat
He waited up at the turnstile queue
And said to the steward “let me in too”
But the Danish man turned him away
Said “No Irish allowed in here today”
His ticket wouldn't scan
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


Whacker flew into a rage
Said “this ticket's cost me weekly wage”
But Whacker was banned from the place
Then he threw a punch in the steward's face
Then whack, the stewards whacked into Whack
Poor Whack was landed on his back
Ended up in the Danish jail
Until the Dublin plane did sail
Deported the poor man
Oh the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


Now five goals later Whacker's out
At the World Cup he can't act the lout
Like the Viking plunderers of old 
Oh the Danish plundered Lansdowne Road 
Still, he'll always have the memories
Though he can't recall too many of these
Whacker's dream it has been sunk
And the truth is Whacker still is drunk
Oh jaysus, what a man
But the craic was ninety in Copenhagen


Edited by sid waddell - 18 Nov 2017 at 4:29pm