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Funny Sex Stories/First Time Having Sex

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ShamtheRam View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShamtheRam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2020 at 3:55pm
Originally posted by I play the banjo I play the banjo wrote:

Originally posted by Croftman Croftman wrote:

LOLLOLLOL

Did the ex get in touch after about it all?

Ah yes of course, had planty more nights with her in there.

Had a good few enjoyable months after that LOL 

That same local is also a hotel, and is sometimes used as a base for american air hostesses.
They are crazy. Met one there one night (20 years my senior again, i must have a problem) and next time she was over she was staying in a spot 20 mins away from me, she was out in a pub there, got a taxi to where im from, picked me up, then brought me back out to the hotel she was staying in, taxi was 50 quid by the end of it LOL Back at the hotel anyway and it was the craziest sh*t ive ever seen, a load of american army lads and the airline crew in a big room full of alcohol and pizzas. Couple of hours later and the place was like the inside of a Berlin nightclub. Your one even gave me 50 quid for my taxi home after breakfast the next morning Clap
Reading back on all these..


This lad has ended two stories with women handing him money. Hes a male brazzer LOL
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Zinedine Kilbane 110 View Drop Down
Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zinedine Kilbane 110 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2020 at 4:11pm
Originally posted by irishmufc irishmufc wrote:

I would have doubts about those two stories (foreskin ripping off and the cock imprint vaseline one) as they sound like something from an American toilet humour teen comedy. That or they must be seriously embellished tbh.  

I can swear on my life the Vaseline one is true. I know the guy well. Pure animal. 

Americans wouldn’t come up with that. Sure they don’t play snooker! 

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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote irishmufc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2020 at 4:26pm
Originally posted by Zinedine Kilbane 110 Zinedine Kilbane 110 wrote:

Originally posted by irishmufc irishmufc wrote:

I would have doubts about those two stories (foreskin ripping off and the cock imprint vaseline one) as they sound like something from an American toilet humour teen comedy. That or they must be seriously embellished tbh.  

I can swear on my life the Vaseline one is true. I know the guy well. Pure animal. 

Americans wouldn’t come up with that. Sure they don’t play snooker! 

Fair enough.It's probably more believable than the foreskin ripping off one.
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The Huntacha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The Huntacha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 9:34am
You mean your one having to get the fella's foreskin removed from her @rse in hospital isn't true?Shocked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lostandfound Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 9:55am
Originally posted by The Huntacha The Huntacha wrote:

You mean your one having to get the fella's foreskin removed from her @rse in hospital isn't true?Shocked

It was actually one of his testicles. 
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ShamtheRam View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShamtheRam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 1:05pm
Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.
This. 

He's defo gay.
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 1:06pm
Originally posted by ShamtheRam ShamtheRam wrote:

Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.
This. 

He's defo gay.
And also a bit of a ****.
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zinedine Kilbane 110 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2020 at 2:00pm
Originally posted by ShamtheRam ShamtheRam wrote:

Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.
This. 

He's defo gay.

That sound a bit like, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is.


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Gabrieléire View Drop Down
500 Club la la la
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gabrieléire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2020 at 3:26am
Originally posted by horsebox horsebox wrote:

Don't know if this is true or not but I thought it was funny, so always remember it.

Anyway, a lad I worked with years ago, he was giving this bird a diddy wank and left a skid mark on her belly.


laughed out loud at this sitting in work LOLLOLLOL hilarious 
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The Huntacha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The Huntacha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2020 at 6:23am
Originally posted by ShamtheRam ShamtheRam wrote:

Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.
This. 

He's defo gay.

It's not a chick with a d*ck, it's a fella with t!ts.
Jimmy Bullard - "Favorite band? Elastic."
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Liam Brady
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lenny82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2020 at 11:58am
Originally posted by Gabrieléire Gabrieléire wrote:

Originally posted by horsebox horsebox wrote:

Don't know if this is true or not but I thought it was funny, so always remember it.

Anyway, a lad I worked with years ago, he was giving this bird a diddy wank and left a skid mark on her belly.


laughed out loud at this sitting in work LOLLOLLOL hilarious 
LOL

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