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LO SCIENZIATO View Drop Down
Davey Langan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LO SCIENZIATO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 8:45am
Originally posted by Green Devil Green Devil wrote:

In a nightclub in Carlow in my early 20's there so going back a good few years and got chatting to a wan just as the club was closing.

She said what are you doing after? So I said f**k all, thinking there was a house party or something planned. When she grabbed my hand and said come outside! Walked outside with her anyway, when she brought me down a dark alley behind the local sex shop right across from the nightclub.

Started kissing her away and she got really into it, within 2 minutes she had pulled down my trousers and was like "f**k me" so I pulled out a condom and wrapped my John Thomas and started doing the business. Finished up about 15/20 minutes later, thought nothing out it and kissed her goodbye.

Two of my mates collected me along the main street in town, I hopped in. One of them turned to chat to me in the back, "you're covered in blood man, look at your hand and trousers" I was like what? I looked down and there was blood allover me, checked the boxers same story. 

The bitch never told me she was on her period Dead



same thing happened to me years ago wan paddy's night about 15 years ago. know this bird through mutual friends. so ended up in the back of a car park. fingered the box off her as she wouldn't go any further. woke up the next morning with my jeans and hands destroyed in blood. 

anytime i saw her when out after that i'd roar at her "gwan ya dirty bitch" and she give ya a cheeky smile. 

so anyway i f**ked off to oz and never saw her again till about a year ago when i was back home playing with my club. was talking to one of the lads after the game. i seen her coming across the field. my mate says to me " this is my wife" i so want to shout at her " gwan ya dirty bitch" and she was f**king morto LOLLOLLOL


Edited by LO SCIENZIATO - 25 Oct 2018 at 10:05am
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 8:45am
Originally posted by BigStrongMan BigStrongMan wrote:

Originally posted by bogball88 bogball88 wrote:

Was at a house party after a night out a few years ago in the Holylands when I was a student. Ran out of beers so one of lads said go up to his room upstairs and there’s a box. So I went up the stairs but into the wrong room, where his housemate was pulling himself off whilst his bird at the time was behind him milking his prostate, with what I thought was a surgical glove on, but later turned out to be from a box of veterinary gloves his aul lad used on the farm LOL
Holylands at Nutgrove?


East Belfast.

     
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShayGivensBum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 9:07am
Originally posted by BigStrongMan BigStrongMan wrote:

Originally posted by bogball88 bogball88 wrote:

Was at a house party after a night out a few years ago in the Holylands when I was a student. Ran out of beers so one of lads said go up to his room upstairs and there’s a box. So I went up the stairs but into the wrong room, where his housemate was pulling himself off whilst his bird at the time was behind him milking his prostate, with what I thought was a surgical glove on, but later turned out to be from a box of veterinary gloves his aul lad used on the farm LOL
Holylands at Nutgrove?

I was just going to ask the same thing LOL That carry on wouldnt surprise me up there either Tongue
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShayGivensBum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 9:08am
Originally posted by 9fingers 9fingers wrote:

Originally posted by Green Devil Green Devil wrote:

In a nightclub in Carlow in my early 20's there so going back a good few years and got chatting to a wan just as the club was closing.

......

Are you not only in your late 20s!? 

Mid 20's I would have said myself ???
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Steve Amsterdam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 9:48am
Painfull reading some of these LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ConorMac77 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 10:00am
Originally posted by ShayGivensBum ShayGivensBum wrote:

Originally posted by BigStrongMan BigStrongMan wrote:

Originally posted by bogball88 bogball88 wrote:

Was at a house party after a night out a few years ago in the Holylands when I was a student. Ran out of beers so one of lads said go up to his room upstairs and there’s a box. So I went up the stairs but into the wrong room, where his housemate was pulling himself off whilst his bird at the time was behind him milking his prostate, with what I thought was a surgical glove on, but later turned out to be from a box of veterinary gloves his aul lad used on the farm LOL
Holylands at Nutgrove?

I was just going to ask the same thing LOL That carry on wouldnt surprise me up there either Tongue
Jesus, you can't take those culchies anywhere. TongueLOL
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote t_rAndy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 10:39am
Originally posted by LO SCIENZIATO LO SCIENZIATO wrote:

Originally posted by Green Devil Green Devil wrote:

In a nightclub in Carlow in my early 20's there so going back a good few years and got chatting to a wan just as the club was closing.

She said what are you doing after? So I said f**k all, thinking there was a house party or something planned. When she grabbed my hand and said come outside! Walked outside with her anyway, when she brought me down a dark alley behind the local sex shop right across from the nightclub.

Started kissing her away and she got really into it, within 2 minutes she had pulled down my trousers and was like "f**k me" so I pulled out a condom and wrapped my John Thomas and started doing the business. Finished up about 15/20 minutes later, thought nothing out it and kissed her goodbye.

Two of my mates collected me along the main street in town, I hopped in. One of them turned to chat to me in the back, "you're covered in blood man, look at your hand and trousers" I was like what? I looked down and there was blood allover me, checked the boxers same story. 

The bitch never told me she was on her period Dead



same thing happened to me years ago wan paddy's night about 15 years ago. know this bird through mutual friends. so ended up in the back of a car park. fingered the box off her as she wouldn't go any further. woke up the next morning with my jeans and hands destroyed in blood. 

anytime i saw her when out after that i'd roar at her "gwan ya dirty bitch" and she give ya a cheeky smile. 

so anyway i f**ked off to oz and never saw her again till about a year ago when i was back home playing with my club. was talking to one of the lads after the game. i seen her coming across the field. my mate says to me " this is my wife" i so want to shout at her " gwan ya dirty bitch" and she was f**king morto LOLLOLLOL

I have a similar situation in terms of one of me best mates ended up marrying a bird who a few of us including me had also had a go off before he settled down with her. In fact his first night with her was after I had banged her earlier in the night (was actually the night of the Ireland vs Germany robbie Keane last minute in 2002). 
We are all great mates still including his wife with mine (I never actually told my wife because I remember my ex knew about it and always caused awkwardness between my ex and me mates missus.)
Now it's just an unspoken of awkwardness!
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 11:25am
I remember back in the day, a mate of mine met this bird and he was f**king locked, brought her back to the gaf and rode her in the brown.

The thing is, he went around telling everyone and anyone who would listen about it.

He married her a few years later. But every dog on the street knows he she took it in the brown on the first date .
     
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gaz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 11:33am
Originally posted by Lenny82 Lenny82 wrote:

In McGowan's back in my early 20's, hadn't had a sniff in months so when a chubby bird with a pretty face started giving me attention, I was happy to stick the lips on her and it was about 3:30am at that stage.

Anyway, after a few minutes the lights were on and the bouncers were ushering everyone downstairs when she turns to me and suggested Abrakebabra so off we went. I shelled out on grub and as we were finishing she said "I really need to suck your cock" and asked if I wanted to go back to hers.

We jumped in a taxi all the way to fcuking Blanchardstown and pulled up at an apartment development. I paid the taxi driver and she tells me to wait there, she lived on the ground floor and would open her bedroom window for me to climb in so that we didn't wake her flat mate.

45 minutes I stood in the cold and not a sign of her. The fat bitch had used me for a free kebab and a taxi home!


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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Green Devil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 11:51am
Originally posted by ShayGivensBum ShayGivensBum wrote:

Originally posted by 9fingers 9fingers wrote:

Originally posted by Green Devil Green Devil wrote:

In a nightclub in Carlow in my early 20's there so going back a good few years and got chatting to a wan just as the club was closing.

......

Are you not only in your late 20s!? 

Mid 20's I would have said myself ???

30 now since September Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Croftman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 11:56am
Met at young one on a night out when in college. Back to hers, she wouldn't go upstairs and wanted to do it on the couch so thought fair enough and fired away. When finished went upstairs to the jacks and saw people asleep in the rooms. Back downstairs and asked does she share with many students, she replies real casually "They're not students, that's the parents and little brother". Heard a movement in the room overhead then so said fook that and took off!

Another night I pulled one of the best looking birds in the class. We were both hammered and I was actually shocked when we went back to hers. Into the bed and pumped away for a couple of minutes but was wasting my time, too pissed. Anyway, woke up the next morning and thought she'd just ask me to be on my way but she says "are you going to finish what you started last night?"...you're fooking right I am love and, knowing it'd probably never happen again, gave her a serious going over. Definitely the best ride I've ever had Smile Apart from the obvious happiness that came on the walk home, half the class had seen us leave together which was wonderful

Last one. Had a friend who met a girl one night years back and they went to the hotel down the road from the club. Next morning he was trying to sneak out of the room, she woke and he just said he was going to get them some coffee. Out the door he went and legged it up the street, left yer one there and with the bill to pay too. He avoided going into the town for about 2 months after 
Some people just deserve a slap
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote d13dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 12:59pm
A few years back in London after a boozy second date in Tayaabs - institution of a curryhouse over here- got her back to mine and she insisted on giving me a rimjob as part of the depraved filth that went on over two drunken hours. 

Brave girl after i had polished off 4 beers half a bottle of red 6 lamb chops a load a few seekh kebabs a karahi lamb naan and pilau rice. Also has my Christmas party the night before and was ripping out farts all day pre curry binge.

To be fair the first date ended up in the Swan in Stockwell until 4am and i nearly did the old banjo string on the 3rd date having a leisurely mooch around brown town. There wasn't a 4th date literally was nothing left to do. she was an absolute loon in the bed room whatsapp sex talk all day every day was too much. Very nice girl as it goes but there was nowhere left to take things after that. 




 
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Davey Langan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LO SCIENZIATO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 1:06pm
I'd say Baldrick is pulling the plum off himself reading these stories LOL
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShayGivensBum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 1:28pm
Originally posted by d13dave d13dave wrote:

A few years back in London after a boozy second date in Tayaabs - institution of a curryhouse over here- got her back to mine and she insisted on giving me a rimjob as part of the depraved filth that went on over two drunken hours. 

Brave girl after i had polished off 4 beers half a bottle of red 6 lamb chops a load a few seekh kebabs a karahi lamb naan and pilau rice. Also has my Christmas party the night before and was ripping out farts all day pre curry binge.

To be fair the first date ended up in the Swan in Stockwell until 4am and i nearly did the old banjo string on the 3rd date having a leisurely mooch around brown town. There wasn't a 4th date literally was nothing left to do. she was an absolute loon in the bed room whatsapp sex talk all day every day was too much. Very nice girl as it goes but there was nowhere left to take things after that. 






 

Get married?


Edited by ShayGivensBum - 25 Oct 2018 at 1:28pm
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 1:54pm
Originally posted by d13dave d13dave wrote:

A few years back in London after a boozy second date in Tayaabs - institution of a curryhouse over here- got her back to mine and she insisted on giving me a rimjob as part of the depraved filth that went on over two drunken hours. 

Brave girl after i had polished off 4 beers half a bottle of red 6 lamb chops a load a few seekh kebabs a karahi lamb naan and pilau rice. Also has my Christmas party the night before and was ripping out farts all day pre curry binge.

To be fair the first date ended up in the Swan in Stockwell until 4am and i nearly did the old banjo string on the 3rd date having a leisurely mooch around brown town. There wasn't a 4th date literally was nothing left to do. she was an absolute loon in the bed room whatsapp sex talk all day every day was too much. Very nice girl as it goes but there was nowhere left to take things after that. 




 


Why was this bird?

I'd love a go of her

     
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Claret Murph Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by LO SCIENZIATO LO SCIENZIATO wrote:

I'd say Baldrick is pulling the plum off himself reading these stories LOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaulB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 5:07pm
Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Oct 2018 at 5:08pm
Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Mate of mine done a bit of manhole engineering in Thailand on his stag with a ladyboy. Said she/he was the best ride hes ever had. Was at it for 3 nights in a row for hours until his lanyard was more or less broken. Wouldn't be something I would be willing to try. Claims hes not gay but the idea of a woman with a tool really does it for him.


f**king hell LOL
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