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AidoM View Drop Down
Ray Houghton
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    Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:46am
Roll out the Titanic but here it is anyway just to get a chuckle going:
 
 
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you
$25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada !'



Edited by AidoM - 28 Jan 2011 at 7:52am
But what they do have and no-one can deny this now, they have the finest collection of boilers in the world! And I include Canada in that!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote McG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:49am
Punchline was barootal Thumbs%20Down
 
A very generous 5/10
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AS YOU WERE McGx

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ChiefGooner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:52am
Guessed the punchline after the first paragraph Thumbs%20Down
 
2/10
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sligo Hornet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:52am

Too long.....obvious punchline.........and sh*te

 
A very generous 0/10
Wallet ?? What the fcuk is that ?
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Ray Houghton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AidoM Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:53am
Originally posted by Sligo Hornet Sligo Hornet wrote:

Too long.....obvious punchline.........and sh*te

 
A very generous 0/10
 
That's good from you ......... so you liked it LOL
But what they do have and no-one can deny this now, they have the finest collection of boilers in the world! And I include Canada in that!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RogerMilla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:54am
Originally posted by Sligo Hornet Sligo Hornet wrote:

 A very generous 0/10
 
oxy..... well you know the rest LOL
The first time the Devil made me do it. The second time I did it on my own.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eire32 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:55am
I Was standing in the Queue in supervalu this morning when a voice announced,"Checkout number 45,please.!

Ive seen better!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sligo Hornet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 7:58am
Originally posted by RogerMilla RogerMilla wrote:

Originally posted by Sligo Hornet Sligo Hornet wrote:

 A very generous 0/10
 
oxy..... well you know the rest LOL
 
 
is it " acetylene welding kit" ?
Wallet ?? What the fcuk is that ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rostrevor Fan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 8:13am
my thick mate has just been arrested in B&Q for punching a coloured women in in the face
 
I think he misunderstood when I asked him to get me a BlackandDecker
 
 
cue newspaper headlines 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sligo Hornet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 8:28am
Originally posted by Rostrevor Fan Rostrevor Fan wrote:

my thick mate has just been arrested in B&Q for punching a coloured women in in the face
 
I think he misunderstood when I asked him to get me a BlackandDecker
 
 
cue newspaper headlines 
 
 
Newspaper%20Headline
Wallet ?? What the fcuk is that ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Steve Amsterdam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 8:31am
Oldie but goodie Aido, not as bad as the lads make it our to be!
Molly Malone's pub- The home of YBIG in Amsterdam!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rostrevor Fan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 8:40am
Originally posted by Sligo Hornet Sligo Hornet wrote:

Originally posted by Rostrevor Fan Rostrevor Fan wrote:

my thick mate has just been arrested in B&Q for punching a coloured women in in the face
 
I think he misunderstood when I asked him to get me a BlackandDecker
 
 
cue newspaper headlines 
 
 
Newspaper%20Headline
10/10 SligoLOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote deisedevil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 10:00am
aido you made me laugh,
not for the first time in fairness to you, i laugh almost everytime i see youThumbs%20Up
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GreenTribe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 10:16am
why did i bother clicking on this thread jaysus aido LOL
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote grazza Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jan 2011 at 2:45pm
Originally posted by eire32 eire32 wrote:

I Was standing in the Queue in supervalu this morning when a voice announced,"Checkout number 45,please.!Ive seen better!



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