Near Death Experiences |
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MC Hammered
Jack Charlton Joined: 05 Oct 2011 Status: Offline Points: 6872 |
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I think I mentioned it before on here but I had a close call in Bogota in Colombia. During an attempted mugging one of the lads lunged at me with a knife in a slasher movie downward movement aiming for my chest. As he was running towards me at the time and I was backpedaling, he was off balance and missed as I shifted my weight but his intention was there. I managed to sort of shrug him off and leg it out into a main plaza to try and get help with him and his two pals in pursuit (which leads to another story). Obviously I got a shock and a rush of adrenaline but the nerves only really came later on that night. Always have mixed feelings about even telling that story as it plays into the stereotype of most peoples impression of Colombia which is mainly incorrect as it's an amazing place and is generally pretty safe. However, the fact that I'm complete loudmouth incapable of keeping even the most mundane news to myself means that I have broadcast and probably embellished it to virtually everyone in Ireland and large swaths of Europe, Asia and the Americas.
Edited by MC Hammered - 10 Oct 2018 at 1:37pm |
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El Puto Amo
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Online Points: 37953 |
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Jaysus Ye have to tell the other story now
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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PaulB
Kevin Kilbane Joined: 08 Aug 2017 Location: Co. Armagh Status: Offline Points: 267 |
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Was about 16 years old when this happened, One night I was making my was back to the train station from the cinema in Lisburn with my girlfriend at the time. There was a band parade just finished and a couple of young lads where still hanging about we passed a group of around 5/6 of them drinking carry outs, they started shouting toward me and the girl asking where we where from etc. we didn't respond which I assume made their minds up and they chased us so we legged it. Not looking when crossing a main road I was hit by a car and knocked out cold, fractured skulled, broken pelvis, arm, ribs and various other injuries. I was in hospital for months after multiple surgeries. Only luck I had was the vehicle behind the car that hit me was a bus, which probably would have been instant death. The lads who chased us where never caught. Still get nightmares about it. The girlfriend had the sense to stop but the adrenaline took me onto the road I think, cant remember the impact as such. just recall hearing a horn blow and thinking ah ballix. |
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The Huntacha
Roy Keane Joined: 27 Mar 2012 Location: Dubai Status: Online Points: 12783 |
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And when exactly did the transaction turn sour?
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Jimmy Bullard - "Favorite band? Elastic."
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MC Hammered
Jack Charlton Joined: 05 Oct 2011 Status: Offline Points: 6872 |
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My hostel was in an area called La Candelaria which an especially brazen estate agent might describe as being in pre "up and coming" phase. It was beside a slum area basically and was a bit rough but had a few backpackers floating around as it was cheap and had a few dive bars. Anyway, when I ran out of the laneway and into the plaza, I heard a few whistles being blown which were security guards/ generally sound people alerting the police to a robbery. So the lads stopped chasing me and pretty soon the cops arrived on the scene and I got to sample Colombian law enforcement in real life. My Spanish is intermediate and I was a bit edgy but I did my best to explain the situation. They put me in the back of their van which was divided in two by a chicken wire type set up. One side for cops and one to detain baddies. So they drive around the slums looking for the 3 lads who tried to hold me up. I spot one of the fellas walking across a sort of allotment/ playing area. I say it to the feds and two of them jump out and run over to grab yer man. He doesn't help his case by swinging an elbow at one them so they gave him a relatively light hiding and throw him in the back of the van where I am except on the other side of the wire. He's protesting his innocence but the cops recognise him and reckon they know his mates. So we spin around some more and find one of the other ones too. He gets lobbed in the back also. He is fairly agitated as you can imagine but the cops are nonplussed. After driving around for ages and not finding the third fellas, the lads decide they know where he lives. This is where it gets a bit hairy. They pull up to a gaff in the slum and basically force their way in and turn the place over. Meanwhile the two lads in the back of the van with me are going mad and threatening to kill me, banging the wire etc so I hop out the side exit as I'll admit to being a bit shook. Neighbours and locals are gathering there though and are getting fairly wound up by the cops thrashing a gaff. So I'm thinking that I'm better off back inside as the mood is nasty and could turn violent. The Feds suss this too and exit the building before it kicks off. So they drive away from the angry mob and pull in. They then ask the two boys to give me my stuff back. They protest that they didnt take anything. I actually agree at this point which confuses the cops. I say that they TRIED to rob me. They didn't look impressed and asked how I was assaulted. I tried telling the attempted stabbing. This also didn't cut the mustard and the cops look actively p1ssed off. They reckoned there was no case to pursue and actually dropped me off at my hostel in front of the two lads who had spent the last half hour telling me that they were going to murder having proven that they weren't bluffing about 20 minutes before that. I swore that I was gonna check out the next day but we went on the lash that night so my best intentions went awry. I wonder what happened to those two thieves and their pal who initially got away. Shortly after the incident, a scandal broke that the government were basically rounding up undesirables from places like Bogota and transporting them to FARC conflict zones before killing them in extrajudicial circumstances and using them to bolster their stats for propaganda purposes. |
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El Puto Amo
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MC Hammered
Jack Charlton Joined: 05 Oct 2011 Status: Offline Points: 6872 |
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In Colombia Coke is not even decriminalized, is actually legal to possess for relatively small amounts which is my narcotics related trivia for today. It's decriminalised in Bolivia up to a pretty crazy amount AFAIR
Edited by MC Hammered - 10 Oct 2018 at 2:39pm |
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El Puto Amo
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Online Points: 37953 |
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f**king hell
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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bhob
Roy Keane YBIGs Donald Trump Joined: 13 Feb 2009 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 10470 |
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Can't believe you went on the lash after that
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pre Madonna
Robbie Keane I am MALDING Joined: 30 Nov 2014 Location: Trumpton Status: Offline Points: 44659 |
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What else would you do?
Great stories.
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bhob
Roy Keane YBIGs Donald Trump Joined: 13 Feb 2009 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 10470 |
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Get on the first bus or flight to somewhere else so you're not f**king murdered by the lads you had strung up in the back of a van.
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pre Madonna
Robbie Keane I am MALDING Joined: 30 Nov 2014 Location: Trumpton Status: Offline Points: 44659 |
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I'd probably have changed hostel alright, you would want a beer after that though.
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LO SCIENZIATO
Liam Brady Fucknut Of The Year Joined: 24 Aug 2018 Status: Offline Points: 1520 |
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Deise316 would back me up on this but the taxi we got in Tbilsi to the game was surreal. dodging in and out of multiple lanes and doing the same on the opposite side of the road. the driver didnt go below 90mph doing this while laughing his bollox off. gurupoutofthat in the front didn't help either roaring and shouting egging da **** on!
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lassassinblanc
Paul McGrath Cheese, it’s not just for eating Joined: 27 Sep 2010 Location: Clairefontaine Status: Offline Points: 16470 |
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Sure It was same in Chisinau, taxi drivers were maniacs didn't even have seat belts
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LO SCIENZIATO
Liam Brady Fucknut Of The Year Joined: 24 Aug 2018 Status: Offline Points: 1520 |
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got a taxi home night before game in Tbilisi at about 5am. your man didn't have a word of English and either did i at that point. so i gave him the hotel business card and after a few radio chats back to the office we were on our way. every single time he changed gear it was like getting whiplash. roughest taxi ever. so anyway finally got to the hotel threw him money and i looked over and the **** had 1 leg which he was using to brake and accelerate.... he used his crutch to press the f**king clutch by hand
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d13dave
Liam Brady Joined: 07 Sep 2012 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 2389 |
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I was almost struck by lightening in Blackheath Common last summer. Ground shook around me. Wasn't the best idea to walk home pissed through one of London's highest most exposed parks during a thunderstorm. Was too pissed to sh*t myself, i would have sober.
The night before i witnessed a murder on King William Walk in Greenwich and heard the poor f**kers final screams after being knifed for his rolex. Thankfully they got the crackhead tramp who did it but not much consolation to his family and daughter. Tame compared to some of the others haha. Edited by d13dave - 10 Oct 2018 at 4:01pm |
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bogball88
Liam Brady Joined: 16 May 2016 Location: Throne Status: Offline Points: 2674 |
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Yeah the Tbilisi taxi experiences are scary all right. Mad b*stards the lot of them |
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SuperDave84
Robbie Keane ooh Thomas, how could you do this to me! Joined: 26 Aug 2011 Location: Far Fungannon Status: Offline Points: 21384 |
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Astana was just as bad, if not worse. All the roads there were six or seven lanes wide, none of them had seatbelts, and indicators were a new-fangled invention not to be used while changing lanes, especially not if you wanted to go across three lanes at once. And the taxis weren't even taxis. You just stuck out your arm and waited for a car to stop.
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KING-CON
Liam Brady Joined: 26 Oct 2010 Status: Offline Points: 1262 |
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I was at a rave in Leytown in 2001. I was
completely off my face and managed to fall off one of the sand dunes/cliff edge
and land head first on the only rock in the part of the sand. I ended up with a badly fractured skull and was unconscious in an induced coma for about 36 hours. I don’t
remember being rushed to hospital or the actual fall. Waking up in hospital in Drogheda
with all my family there including my sister who’d flown home from Scotland was
truly bizarre. I was topped up on
morphine so just thought it was like a party and was very happy to see
everyone. The recovery was slow and I wasn’t back to myself for about 6 weeks. I missed a holiday and the Ireland Holland game when McAteer scored. It
was more a traumatic experience for my mate who went with me in the ambulance.
He was also off his head and was coming down off yokes in the hospital with a pregnant woman screaming she that was losing her baby beside him. |
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