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My Roy Keane Diary: 'A day in the life'

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ConorMac77 View Drop Down
Ray Houghton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ConorMac77 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2017 at 8:55am
''You don't seem to understand. I didn't come here to rescue Keane from you. I came here to rescue you from Keano.''
LOLLOLLOL
The nation holds it's breath...YES, WE'RE THERE!!!
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jan 2018 at 12:45pm
"When Roy Keane was in digs at Forest, his landlady said he could paint his room. So he did, walls and ceiling, all black. The only furniture was a mattress with no bed, and piles of Goal and Shoot! magazines. Clough called him in and said 'you can't live like that', and he said 'it's the only way I can relax.'"

True story
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The Count Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2018 at 9:46pm
Keano selling his gaf and posts up photos of his mirrored bed Cool




Edited by The Count - 26 Mar 2018 at 9:46pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DeclanDaly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2018 at 9:58pm
Jay-sis

Surely worth another day in the life?
You asked if I'd be anyone from history, fact or fiction, dead or alive:
I said "I'd be Tony Cascarino, circa 1995"
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Robbie Keane
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I am MALDING

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2018 at 10:12pm
That doesn't reflect well on him.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bogball88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2018 at 11:09pm
It doesn't mirror his public persona

Edited by bogball88 - 26 Mar 2018 at 11:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote UCDFAN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 3:08am
I doubt he bought the poufs on the bed hisself.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote McG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 10:04am
Obviously something he seen himself doing
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AS YOU WERE McGx

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Cheese, it’s not just for eating

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lassassinblanc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 10:15am
One my mates parents bedroom has mirrors on the ceiling and also mirrors on the wardrobe doors, found this out as I fell asleep in there one night at a free gaf.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bogball88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 10:53am
Originally posted by lassassinblanc lassassinblanc wrote:

One my mates parents bedroom has mirrors on the ceiling and also mirrors on the wardrobe doors, found this out as I fell asleep in there one night at a free gaf.



I got these in my gaf. Great job
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 11:44am
Great for when your nailing the Mrs.

Not so great when your Da is nailing your ma.

It was far across the sea,
When the devil got a hold of me,
He wouldn't set me free,
So he kept me soul for ransom.
na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na.
I'm a sailor man from Glasgow to
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KING-CON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 11:48am
Why is he moving? Potential job offer?
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jun 2018 at 5:54pm
Roy's World Cup Diary:

Ireland wont be at the 2018 World Cup.  R.Keane is shrewd and will be.  The Irish team were there in 2002 while I was at home walking Triggs through the fields of Hale. How the tables had turned. Now here I was on footballs greatest stage while "the nearly lads" were back in England watching on tv or from their Hotel Bar in Malaga.  I was determined to put in a good World Cup performance. On the flight over I had seen the Mohammed Ali film with Will Smith and how he refused the draft into the US Army during the Vietnam War.  "I aint fighting no white mans war". I admired that.  I had writtwn on the back of an envelope some lines I would use to cut my old enemies to ahreds during ITVs World Cup coverage. I sat in silence staring out the window at 30,000 feet as I plotted my revenge. Alex Ferguson, Quiroz, McCarthy, Staunton. They were my targets.  People were getting vored of my previous withering remarks about them and now I needed to freshen things up if I was going to make front page headlines and get my name on Joe.ie headlines.  I prepared my lines on that flight. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.  My opportunity came during the Iran game. Pougatch asked me about Quoroz. I wasn't long in my appraisal. "I told him where to go. He got off lightly. My only regret is not ripping his head off". Ian Wright s*****rs. Go ahead. Laugh. But you werent there. Quiroz's disrespect hurt not only me but my family and brothers amd the people from Cork. I'd see Ian Wright Wright Wright another day. I hadn't forgotten Ian and his little s*****r as I poured my heart out  live on tv.  By mid June I was the top scorer at the world cup settling old scores. People accuse me of living in the past and harbouring grudges. No. I wasn't done witht this World Cup. Not by a long shot. England might be going out in the group stages but I was determined to stick around for the final. And plenty more opportunities are going to come my way. Ferguson and the rest won't be let off lightly.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gary McKay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jun 2018 at 2:26pm
4/10.
Need to up your game TJ.
"Smalling and Jones.... have the potential to be the PL’s best ever pairing in my opinion." - SlurAlex
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sPICE UP YOUR LIFE Gwan MONROY

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FREEWHEELER Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2018 at 4:11pm
Calm before the storm Gary Mc.  Patience.
We'll never die, we'll never die, we'll keep the Green Flag flying high......Shamrock Rovers will never die, we'll keep the Green Flag Flying high. 19 Leagues and 25 Cups.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ConorMac77 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jun 2018 at 5:56pm
Originally posted by FREEWHEELER FREEWHEELER wrote:

Calm before the storm Gary Mc.  Patience.
Though that bit about RK wishing he had ripped Queiroz's head off isn't one of TJ's tall tales on this thread. Keane actually did say that in the ITV studio - and with that familiar poker-face. ShockedLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2018 at 12:12am
Summer 2018:

We are playing the USA at the Aviva.  Both ourselves and the Americans had failed to make the World Cup party. This was our punishment.  I could be at home walking Triggs or plotting my next grudge sitting in my villa in the Algarve. Instead I have to take training with the cast of the Muppet Show. It wasn't something I was looking forward to.  The media were on our backs. O'Neill had made a f**k up of the tactics against Denmark.  I decide to arrange a BBQ for the media to sweeten them up. The weather in Dublin is fantastic, pushing 30c.  A BBQ a steak sandwich and a Pepsi will go down well. Martin is bringing the meat.  I am bringing the chips. Martin laughs and says ''presumably from your shoulder Roy and there's plenty for everyone.'' He laughed and walked away.  Nordie ****. I'd remember that.   Theresa always tells me to let things go. I can't. Not in my nature.  Its bothering me several hours later as the party is in full flow.  I notice Harry Arter talking to Paul Kimmage.  They were sharing a burger and chatting privately amongst themselves.  Martin is in the corner telling everyone how smart he is. I'm stuck with Seamus McDonagh who is boring the arse off me with sh*te talk.  I zone out.  Callum O'Dowda is showing lads his new trainers and James McClean is carving ''up the RA!'' into the wooden benches with his steaknife. Everythign is fine. I go to bed early this night.

Training.  Alarm set for 8.30am. f**k! Wish I was on holiday.  Theresa always says I am always grumpier in the summer.' Maybe it's the heat?' she says. I agree but then say I am grumpier in the winter. She laughed. I didn't.  I glare at her.  McDonagh takes the keepers for some training before the rest of the squad. The gaffer and me arrange a 5 a side.  No keepers for now.  All is fine. Problem.  Harry Arter is not happy. He wants to know why there is no goalkeepers for the 5 a side and storms up to Seamus McDonagh. ''Why the f**k are there no goalkeepers?''
''We were out training earlier and the lads are tired''
''Its the f**king summer. they're supposed to be tired after a long hard season! We have the USA tomorrow!''
''Just calm down Harry''
''Are you going to make me calm down.?!''

Harry rejoins the 5 a side. He is fuming and is storming into tackles. He clatters into McClean. We call up the game early to prevent anything bad happening. Arter is 1st on he bus and is in bad form as he walks down to the back on his own. A couple of kids run in after him to get his autograph.  A collective gasp is heard as they enter the lions den. Thankfully they exit a minute later unharmed and none the worse for wear.

2pm. Phone call.  I'm being warned that a story has come out in one of the papers in which Harry Arter has given an interview to Paul Kimmage and the content is not very complimentary.  I'm sent a copy.  The interview is very long but a couple of quotes stick out:

PK:  Are you a happy person Harry?
HA: (laughs) No. Not really.
PK: Why's that? Personal problems or professional problems?
HA: Professional
PK: Can you elaborate?
HA: It's just the squad, the training here. It's not what I'm used to
PK: At Bournemouth?
HA: Yeah. I'm used to preparing properly, training hard and everyone around me training hard. We don't work on set pieces, tactics, nothing. Today we had a 5 a side with no keepers. Joke.
PK: Why was that?
HA: You will have to ask the management.
PK: Do you feel their approach is unprofessional?
HA: Yeah. Again its just not what I'm used to. ...But maybe that's why some people are managing where they are.


A team meeting is called. A band is playing downstairs in the bar as the players gather round.  I decide to start and the band stop.

''Is everybody happy?''
''yes'' comes the collective response.
''are you happy Harry?''
''Yeah fine''
''You don't seem too happy'' I say as I produce the newspaper article from behind my back like a Paul Daniels trick.
''You've gone and criticised your management you have''
''If you've got a problem why didn't you come to me in private?'' Arter replies.
''You've made it public'' I say.
''You faked injuries you did.'' as my accent gets ever more Yorkshire.
''Sorry?''
''You faked injuries you did to get out of playing for Ireland''
''You're a liar Roy''
''You faked an injury to get out of the Turkey game''
 Arter's face is beetroot red and look like he is going to explode. Maybe I've gone too far...

''f**k you!  Faking injuries?! You know I was injured. You spoke with Eddie Howe. You're a f**king liar Roy. You're a useless coach, a useless manager and a useless person and you can stick your USA game up your arse you Irish ****''.

Arter storms out. The room is stunned into silence.  I proceed to call a hastily arrange press conference. I ask Ciaran Clark and Declan Rice to stand by me as a show of support.
''f**k off Roy you Irish w**ker.''


Edited by Trap junior - 05 Sep 2018 at 12:18am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hans Moleman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2018 at 5:32am
LOLLOLLOL

Well played Trap Clap
"I called him an embarrassment to FIFA and to himself," .... He said 'No-one speaks to me like that'.... and I said, "well I do' and that was that."
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