My Roy Keane Diary: 'A day in the life' |
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Charlton's Child
Liam Brady Joined: 30 Oct 2014 Status: Offline Points: 2827 |
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Ha brilliant as always
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ConorMac77
Ray Houghton Joined: 22 Apr 2015 Location: Newry Status: Offline Points: 3688 |
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''Do us a favour mate!! We've seen your teams play! You're definitely NOT in the coaching business! What's your real job!'' . And the cop shop bursts into hysterical laughter. |
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The nation holds it's breath...YES, WE'RE THERE!!!
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Roberto Baggio
Robbie Keane UNBELIEVABLE JEFF Joined: 28 Jan 2010 Status: Offline Points: 37294 |
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I was literally laughing out loud in bed last night at about 12.30 reading that. Nearly woke the wife up.
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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another classic one
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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mbyrne15
Kevin Kilbane Joined: 19 Oct 2015 Status: Offline Points: 243 |
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Great read to kill a bit of time in work on a Friday afternoon
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39784 |
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September 25th. Exhibition match in Pairc Ui Chaoimh Cork. United v Ireland legends. First half I will be playing for Ireland. O'Neill is going to be manager. Roy Carroll will coming for the match. I wsn't too impressed by his antics at Cliftonville v Linfield. He refused to shake the taigs hands. I had arranged a special welcome to the Republic for Roy. The United players take to the pitch before us. They wait for us to come out. The stadium goes into darkness and silence leaving the United team in confusion as to what is going to happen next. A spotlight shines as James Brown music starts over the public address as the lights and razzmatazz starts. Girl dancers take to the pitch wearing balaclavas dancing around in front of Roy Carroll. Then from a hydraulic stage appears Gerry Adams wearing a tricolour spangled outfit as he bursts into song: Super highways coast to coast just easy to get anywhere On the trans continental overload; just slide behind the wheel How does it feel when there's no destination that's too far And somewhere on the way you might find out who you are? Living in The EIRE, eye to eye, station to station Living in The EIRE, hand to hand across the nation Living in The EIRE, got to have a celebration! I live in The EIRE! I live in The EIRE As Adams is doing his thing Irish tricolours appear from all the crowd, a plane flies over the stadium spraying a green white and orange smoke lines. Midgets wearing balaclavas dance in unison wearing IRA outfits holding rifles. The girls playfully and flirtatiously tickle Carroll's face with a tricolour feather. The song continues: You may not be looking for the promised land But you might find it anyway Under one of those old familiar names, like New Grange Derry Dublin City Pairc Ui Chaoimh, P.A. New Grange Derry Dublin City Pairc Ui Chaoimh, P.A. Newbridge City Athlone Kilkenny City Newbridge City Atllone Kilkenny City Cork and Galway. Living in The EIRE, eye to eye, station to station Living in The EIRE, hand to hand across the nation Living in The EIRE, got to have a celebration! The music comes to sudden halt with a voracious roar from the crowd The match starts. Carroll looks sharp initially easily saving a couple of early shots. After a few minutes I fire a hard shot from the 18 yard line. It catches him on the head knocking him out for a moment. He gets up and recovers to applause from the crowd. A few minutes later I again have the ball and fire a bullet of a shot at Carroll again striking him flush in the face. Carroll is down and not moving. Medics rush onto the field. Gary Neville shouts at me ''what the hell is wrong with you man! This is supposed to be an exhibition! An exhibition!''. There is pandemonium. The tv commentator George Hamilton is shocked. ''what was supposed to be an exhibition has turend out to be a disaster. Corks Red FM stick a microphone under me to comment. Roy, Mr. Carrol seems to be in a very serious condition.'' ''If he dies, he dies''. |
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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McG
Moderator Group SISAO? What the hell is SISAO? Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Location: Christmas Island Status: Offline Points: 26979 |
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Rocky IV
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YBIG Table Quiz winner 2016 & 2017
AS YOU WERE McGx |
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newrynyuk
Liam Brady Joined: 29 Mar 2010 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1556 |
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Anybody here listens to the Top Flight Time Machine podcast? The concept is each episode Andy Dawson and Sam Delaney look back at a Premier League season. They also did a look back at the last few World Cups during the summer. They've recently expanded the series to do previews and reviews of each weekend's action. But of most interest to readers here is their Keane Odyssey series, a forensic examination of Roy Keane's second autobigraphy. It was only supposed to be 3 episodes long, but they already done 3 episodes and still haven't covered all they want to discuss so the series will be expanding to many more. It's a tad pureile, but really funny. Plenty in it for Keane fans as well as haters. |
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longford claret
500 Club la la la Joined: 31 Dec 2016 Location: Longford Status: Offline Points: 540 |
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Quiet on here. Nothing much must be happening re Roy lately.
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39784 |
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Reality became stranger than fiction There might be one on the way soon
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Offline Points: 37950 |
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This has to be part of it
Edited by Denis Irwin - 21 Nov 2018 at 10:35pm |
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39784 |
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I will have to embrace my inner John Sullivan to come up with a storyline with lots of plot holes
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39784 |
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November 2018. Last game of the Nations League. I'm flying to Dublin. The FAI have laid on a private jet to whisk me over to Dublin. Have they fook! They've booked me on the 06.30am flight out of Manchester with the official airline of the FAI- Ryanair. Both are always looking for money and both would sell you out to save a few quid. Today fate has handed me seat 12 E. I usually like an aisle seat and requested one but the FAI haven't stumped up the 8 euro to do so. They waited until the free random seat check in became available 24 hrs before the flight. It's a fooking middle seat. I hate middle seats. I'm in bad form as I take my seat. In my head I am unleashing a torrent of abuse at the FAI. ''Fooking ****s!'' I thought. ''Tight bastards!''. There's a fat bloke in the aisle seat and he has already taken his seat. ''Sorry can I get in there. That's a statement not a question'' I growl He manages eventually to get out of my. I manage to squeeze through. The other side of me at the window seat is a 4 year old child. I fasten my seat belt and off we go. 5 mins into the flight the fat lad decides he needs a nap. His head dangling down onto his chest. He's snoring away. I'm trying to get on with reading my book ''how to make friends and influence people''. I'm on page 25 when the fat lads head falls onto my lap between my book and my face. I push his head firmly over to his side. He wakes up. He looks at me and drifts back to sleep. Halfway into the flight here come the trolley dollies. Fatso order a tea and criossant. Down comes his foldout table. He's fumbling about with cartons of milk. He pulls firmly on the lid and the milk flies back and hits me on the face. Milk drips slowly down my face as I stare sternly ahead for a moment contemplating my next move. ''Don't react Roy'' I thought. I'm now faced with two options. A night in the cells or go on about my day. ''f**k it. It's worth it'' and I let fly with my elbow into the guy's face knocking him out straight away. ''You wanted to fooking sleep did you!?'' Miraculously nobody has seen me do it except the 4 year old boy beside me. ''You're a bad man!'' ''Ever hear of the boogie man?'' I say ''Yes'' ''Well I'm the fooking boogie man.'' The kid starts crying. sh*t. I've gone a bit too far. I try to calm him down. ''Don't cry kid! Please don't cry. I was only messing. Want to hear a joke?'' ''Yes please'' he sobs slowly coming round. ''I get paid 600,000 a year to do fook all'' Edited by Trap junior - 21 Nov 2018 at 11:34pm |
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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ConorMac77
Ray Houghton Joined: 22 Apr 2015 Location: Newry Status: Offline Points: 3688 |
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Got my hopes built up there when I saw this thread being bumped...
So this could be your last diary entry on the thread TJ, better be a good 'un. No pressure then. Edit: just seen it. Not bad.
Edited by ConorMac77 - 21 Nov 2018 at 11:38pm |
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The nation holds it's breath...YES, WE'RE THERE!!!
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39784 |
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More on the way
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Offline Points: 37950 |
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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ConorMac77
Ray Houghton Joined: 22 Apr 2015 Location: Newry Status: Offline Points: 3688 |
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The nation holds it's breath...YES, WE'RE THERE!!!
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MarkDev
Kevin Kilbane Joined: 09 Feb 2009 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 474 |
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Limerick your a Lady!
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