My Roy Keane Diary: 'A day in the life'

 

 

September 25th.  Exhibition match in Pairc Ui Chaoimh Cork.  United v Ireland legends.  First half I will be playing for Ireland.  O'Neill is going to be manager.  Roy Carroll will coming for the match. I wsn't too impressed by his antics at Cliftonville v Linfield.  He refused to shake the taigs hands.  I had arranged a special welcome to the Republic for Roy.

 The United players take to the pitch before us.  They wait for us to come out.  The stadium goes into darkness and silence leaving the United team in confusion as to what is going to happen next.  A spotlight shines as James Brown music starts over the public address as the lights and razzmatazz starts.  Girl dancers take to the pitch wearing balaclavas dancing around in front of Roy Carroll.  Then from a hydraulic stage appears Gerry Adams wearing a tricolour spangled outfit as he bursts into song:

The music comes to sudden halt with a voracious roar from the crowd

The match starts.  Carroll looks sharp initially easily saving a couple of early shots.  After a few minutes I fire a hard shot from the 18 yard line.  It catches him on the head knocking him out for a moment.  He gets up and recovers to applause from the crowd.  A few minutes later I again have the ball and fire a bullet of a shot at Carroll again striking him flush in the face.  Carroll is down and not moving.  Medics rush onto the field. Gary Neville shouts at me ''what the hell is wrong with you man! This is supposed to be an exhibition! An exhibition!''.   There is pandemonium.  The tv commentator George Hamilton is shocked.  ''what was supposed to be an exhibition has turend out to be a disaster.  Corks Red FM stick a microphone under me to comment.  Roy, Mr. Carrol seems to be in a very serious condition.''

''If he dies, he dies''.

Anybody here listens to the Top Flight Time Machine podcast?  The concept is each episode Andy Dawson and Sam Delaney look back at a Premier League season.  They also did a look back at the last few World Cups during the summer.  They've recently expanded the series to do previews and reviews of each weekend's action.

But of most interest to readers here is their Keane Odyssey series, a forensic examination of Roy Keane's second autobigraphy.  It was only supposed to be 3 episodes long, but they already done 3 episodes and still haven't covered all they want to discuss so the series will be expanding to many more.  It's a tad pureile, but really funny.  Plenty in it for Keane fans as well as haters.

longford claret wrote: Quiet on here. Nothing much must be happening re Roy lately.

Reality became stranger than fiction

There might be one on the way soon

So this could be your last diary entry on the thread TJ, better be a good 'un. 

No pressure then. 

Edit: just seen it. Not bad.