Funny Sex Stories/First Time Having Sex

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 alihau41 wrote:

 ConorMac77 wrote:

 Trap junior wrote:

 LO SCIENZIATO wrote:

 alihau41 wrote:

went to a mixed school, so had the benefit of trying to get the ride as an after school activity in one of the classrooms. this bird a year ahead of us took a shining to one of my mates, so after school one day, she took him down to one of the back classrooms that you can't see into, but if someone walks in there's nowhere to hide. it was her time of the month, so was happy enough for him to pot her brown. didn't have any lube or johnny, so his joy of getting the ride in a classroom for the first time was subsided by the fact that it was dry as f**k and she was smashing down on his banjo.anyway, the teacher that holds her class in that room everyday came back to collect something, only to see this going on. your one gets a serious fright and jumps off my mate, taking his foreskin with her. he lets out a proper shriek, blood is everywhere, tears pouring down his face. ambulance called, and any students that were still around saw this chap being walked up the corridor by two paramedics, blubbering away. your one had to join him in the ambulance, and had to have his foreskin pulled from her arse. don't think he's gone for the brown since

oh sweet f**k  you just made my monday 

That never happened. Did it Homer?

Thats more far fetched than the scene in Theres Something about Mary
The bit where they're being taken to the ambulance sounds more like that scene from American Pie where Jim is being led into the ambulance with one hand superglued to his lad and the other hand superglued to a porn tape - at that moment, one of the mates tries to console him with 'these things happen to the best of us.'! 

Pmsl here. 

very true story TJ. the lad wasn't a soft cock either (excuse the pun); he'd a black belt in jiu jitsu, ended up spending a while in the british army reserve. those students that did see him walk up the corridor after it happened, certainly didn't mug him off about it. would have knocked their heads off! 