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Funny Sex Stories/First Time Having Sex

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brianie View Drop Down
Roy Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote brianie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:04pm
Originally posted by Gaz Gaz wrote:

Johnny split. Panic stations and my 1st trip to the chemist for the morning after pillCool

It doesnt work on Blokes GazWink
ITS KEANE YES

YBIG You Can Please some of the People Some of the Time But Not All of The People All of The Time
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:04pm
Originally posted by drog addict drog addict wrote:

I wish, fat mess of a yoke (who the lads knick named the horse) in a telephone box in the middle of Tralee when I was sixteen. I would say the helmet was barely even in when I shot me load. High fives all round from the lads after even though she was a ditchpig.


Ditch pig   
It was far across the sea,
When the devil got a hold of me,
He wouldn't set me free,
So he kept me soul for ransom.
na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na.
I'm a sailor man from Glasgow to
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote daffyp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:51pm
There's an auld saying, that the people that talk about it all the time, ain't actually getting that much at all....... Just saying like................
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote seanyshuffler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:54pm
Hold on a second........these stories aren't funny at all.
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Aye Kes, I've pissed me-self again

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Green Devil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:56pm
Originally posted by daffyp daffyp wrote:

There's an auld saying, that the people that talk about it all the time, ain't actually getting that much at all....... Just saying like................

I have a flthy humour, i mean i talk about sex and just random sh*t in regard to women non-stop! 

It's always a feast or a famine for me, haven't got a ride in 4 weeks and in that week leading upto the drought i managed to pull 3 women in the space of a week! 

Went out Monday night and Wednesday night in Carlow this week, got a few kisses alright! Had the chance to ride this one, but i wasn't having it (for once)


"He drives two Ferraris; I think he's a very lucky lad to have 50 caps for Ireland,"

Eamonn Dunphy on Glenn Whelan
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Aye Kes, I've pissed me-self again

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Green Devil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:59pm
Originally posted by seanyshuffler seanyshuffler wrote:

Hold on a second........these stories aren't funny at all.

+1

Go on seany throw out a funny story there.
"He drives two Ferraris; I think he's a very lucky lad to have 50 caps for Ireland,"

Eamonn Dunphy on Glenn Whelan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PanteirA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 12:02am
When I was 21 as I was fingering a girl during foreplay , she left off a hugh fart as she was about to come. Since I was doing it from behind her , my finger was got the full whack of it. I carried on without a moments hesitation as she said excuse me 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote colemanY2K Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 4:38am
I can only assume a Kerry woman
"One of the dominant facts in English life during the past three quarters of a century has been the decay of ability in the ruling class." Orwell, 1942.
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Fresh minty breath

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote colemanY2K Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 4:40am
Originally posted by Baldrick Baldrick wrote:

Originally posted by colemanY2K colemanY2K wrote:

did it in my brothers bed...needless to say he wasn't best pleased. First and only time he's done the laundry  Tongue


Why, did you not make him come Wink


Eh no...more like vomit
"One of the dominant facts in English life during the past three quarters of a century has been the decay of ability in the ruling class." Orwell, 1942.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 9fingers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 7:17am
Originally posted by drog addict drog addict wrote:

I wish, fat mess of a yoke (who the lads knick named the Horsebox) in a telephone box in the middle of Tralee when I was sixteen. I would say the helmet was barely even in when I shot me load. High fives all round from the lads after even though she was a ditchpig.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MJD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 10:52am
Censored

Edited by MJD - 22 Oct 2018 at 2:17pm
17 International Caps
16 International Goals
COYFIG
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The Huntacha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 11:43am
Fell asleep in a bird on a lads holiday in Crete, was absolutely bolloxed drunk!
Jimmy Bullard - "Favorite band? Elastic."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote seanyshuffler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 11:44am
Originally posted by The Huntacha The Huntacha wrote:

Fell asleep in a bird on a lads holiday in Crete, was absolutely bolloxed drunk!
In or on?
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Roy Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The Huntacha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 11:46am
In
Jimmy Bullard - "Favorite band? Elastic."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Green Devil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 11:48am
Originally posted by MJD MJD wrote:

Had a work night out last night and I ended up taking the ride of the office back to mine. Everyone today is desperate to hear about what I did to her, but the truth is we both got sick and went to sleep. Heaven Dead

Pics Thumbs Up
"He drives two Ferraris; I think he's a very lucky lad to have 50 caps for Ireland,"

Eamonn Dunphy on Glenn Whelan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cabra Hoop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 12:59pm

A good few years ago myself and a few of my mates were out on the lash when one of the lads cops this quare one. He goes back to her "free gaff" in finglas and they get down to business on the couch. There going mad at it when the door opens and in comes your womans father carrying a golf club. My mate scarpers out of the gaff with his balls just about intact. So the following morning he is telling us all this as were getting ready for a match and were all cracking up. We head on to the pitch and my mate (who was the captain) comes over and asks me to go up and  to the toss-up. "Why" i asked. "Because the ref is that f**king slappers old fella"...........

" BFC always gives me a laugh........ "
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AntrimMan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 1:04pm
Originally posted by Cabra Hoop Cabra Hoop wrote:

A good few years ago myself and a few of my mates were out on the lash when one of the lads cops this quare one. He goes back to her "free gaff" in finglas and they get down to business on the couch. There going mad at it when the door opens and in comes your womans father carrying a golf club. My mate scarpers out of the gaff with his balls just about intact. So the following morning he is telling us all this as were getting ready for a match and were all cracking up. We head on to the pitch and my mate (who was the captain) comes over and asks me to go up and  to the toss-up. "Why" i asked. "Because the ref is that f**king slappers old fella"...........

 
Brilliant LOL
@AntrimMan85
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The truth is out there

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Just saying like Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2013 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by daffyp daffyp wrote:

There's an auld saying, that the people that talk about it all the time, ain't actually getting that much at all....... Just saying like................

Is this just my paranoia again, Baldy, or is this cad trying to implicate me in some way in these sordid juvenile behind the bike shed stories.  Cue an  avalanche of pm's to the mods. 
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