Jimmy Saville |
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Sligo Hornet
Roy Keane Runner Up, Branson lookalike 2003 Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 11916 |
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Wallet ?? What the fcuk is that ?
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Sligo Hornet
Roy Keane Runner Up, Branson lookalike 2003 Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 11916 |
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Wallet ?? What the fcuk is that ?
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irishmufc
Robbie Keane I love Vulvas Joined: 09 Aug 2011 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 25132 |
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Wings? They're only the band The Beatles could have been.
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Rostrevor Fan
Ray Houghton Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Location: An Dun Status: Offline Points: 4101 |
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was only joking with my comment FW
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Rostrevor Fan
Ray Houghton Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Location: An Dun Status: Offline Points: 4101 |
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very good sligo
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Ludwig von Drake
Liam Brady Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: Kildare Status: Offline Points: 1457 |
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BREAKING NEWS!!! A mob of dyslexic parents have just kicked the fuk out of Jimmy Somerville
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Newryrep
Paul McGrath Just can't get enough of lists Joined: 14 Jan 2009 Status: Offline Points: 15261 |
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classic Chris Morris
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'Irish' Songs for an Irish team - no SPL EPL generic sh*te
Richard Dunne - 6th Sept 11 - best marshalling of a defence in Moscow since General Zukov Russia V Germany 1941 |
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soccerc
Jack Charlton Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 7717 |
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Did you know something? TV entertainer Freddie Starr has denied claims that he groped a 14-year-old girl at a dressing room party hosted by Gary Glitter and Jimmy Savile. Starr broke his silence a day after five media organisations overturned a high court injunction brought by him over the allegations, which were made by one of a number of people claiming they were sexually assaulted by Savile. |
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horsebox
Robbie Keane Born n bred in darndale. Joined: 03 Feb 2010 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 34935 |
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Quality gag |
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It was far across the sea,
When the devil got a hold of me, He wouldn't set me free, So he kept me soul for ransom. na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. I'm a sailor man from Glasgow to |
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Offline Points: 37966 |
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Yet more scandal at the BBC as archived footage is found showing Rod Hull fisting a helpless young Bird. |
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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Some classic jokes there lads
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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Apparently, this was actually recorded during the last series of "Have I Got News For You" when Jimmy Saville was a guest on Paul Merton's team. Incredibly, it didn't make our screens. (It seems that Mr. Merton doesn't like Mr. Saville very much) Out-take 3:09'36 During the headline round: DEAYTON: You used to be a wrestler didn't you? SAVILLE: I still am. DEAYTON: Are you? SAVILLE: I'm feared in every girls' school in the country. (Audience laugh) DEAYTON: Yeah, I've heard about that. SAVILLE: What have you heard? DEAYTON: I've... MERTON: Something about a **** with a rancid, pus-filled cock. (Huge audience laugh; Awkward pause) SAVILLE: I advise you to wash your mouth out, my friend... MERTON: That's what she had to do! (Audience laughs) HISLOP: Weren't you leaving money in phone boxes or something? (Saville glares at him) Or have I got completely the wrong end of the... SAVILLE: (To Deayton, heavily) The question you asked was about wrestling. DEAYTON: Yes. And then you mentioned girls' schools. I don't know whe... SAVILLE: Well I understood this was a comedy programme. I realise now how wrong I was. (Audience laugh) DEAYTON: So were you a professional wrestler? SAVILLE: Yes I was. DEAYTON: (To audience) Glad we got that cleared up.(Pulls face; audience giggles) HISLOP: Feared by every girls' school in the country... SAVILLE: That's right. MERTON: Due to having a rancid, pus-filled cock.(Huge audience laugh) DEAYTON: Erm... HISLOP: You're on top form tonight, Paul... SAVILLE: (Strangely) I'm...this is not what I... FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) OK, do you...(inaudible section)...shall we, for pick-ups... MERTON: I'm terribly sorry. I don't know what came over me. SAVILLE: A pus-filled cock, I imagine. (Shocked audience laugh) MERTON: Oh, it's nice to see you joining in. We'd been waiting for you, you sad senile old sh*tter. (Audience appears to do double-take) DEAYTON: I think we...d-d-you you want to apologise to our guest, Paul? MERTON: Sorry, I do apologise. Sir senile old sh*tter, is what I meant to say. (Audience laugh; pause) Sir senile old sh*tter...who f**ks minors. (Audience unrest) HISLOP: Sorry, I'm just looking at our lawyer again. (Waves) Hello! (Audience laughs) DEAYTON: Shall we get back on course with this, or sha... SAVILLE: I do f**k miners, that's quite correct. I have always done so. They can do the most wonderful things with cigars. The coal... MERTON: What, they stick them up your senile, pus-filled arse? (Audience laughs) FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV): Come on...I'm getting an ear-bashing here. It's... MERTON: Oh they want to continue. Sorry, I'll contain myself. Carry on... DEAYTON: Right (Pause) You used to be a professional wrestler didn't you? (Huge audience laugh) SAVILLE: (Calmly) I did. DEAYTON: You didn't have a nickname or anything? SAVILLE: Yes - 'Loser'. (Audience laughs) ___________________________________ Out-take 4: 21'20 Following a discussion about caravans: DEAYTON: Last month, Roger Moore sold his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the... MERTON: I visited your caravan the other week, Jimmy. SAVILLE: Did you really? MERTON: Oh yes. Interesting what you can find, if you have a bit of a poke. (Audience laugh) HISLOP: He just told you, it was twelve years ago... SAVILLE: No, I lived in it for twelve years. MERTON: And f**ked twelve year olds. (Audience laugh) DEAYTON: Here we go again...I'll be backstage if anyone wants me. MERTON: (Indicating Saville) That's what you said to the kids on your show, wasn't it? (Audience laugh) SAVILLE: No, they never did want me. HISLOP: Not even Sarah Cornley? SAVILLE: She was an exception. DEAYTON: Who's Sarah Cornley? SAVILLE: Sarah Cornley is... HISLOP: About fifteen grand in damages, wasn't she? (Uncertain audience laugh) SAVILLE: That's right. HISLOP: So if I was going to mention that you threatened to break her arm if she said anything... SAVILLE: You'd be very wrong. (Pause) I said I'd break both her arms. (Audience unease) MERTON: f**king hell. I mean, you're just sitting there, all shell suit and cigar wearing those f**king...I don't know what they are. SAVILLE: Chrome-plated SC-700 sun-visors, these are. Sent to me by... MERTON: We don't give a sh*t. Ladies and gentlemen, Sir James Saville OBE. Jim has fixed it for me to have my arms broken. Meet this depressing old f**ked up **** of a f**ker on television who's riddled with cancer and f**king pubic lice. HISLOP: (To lawyer again) Hello! (Audience laughs) MERTON: Christ, I mean ha ha, big f**king joke - the f**king lawyers are involved, tee hee. It doesn't change anything. DEAYTON: (Visibly out of character) Do you wanna stop, or...? MERTON: No I don't f**king want to stop. It's all sh*t! You'll expect a comedy walkout in a minute, won't you? I mean, big bloody joke - I'm going to quote Shakespeare in a minute, how f**king out of character. And Ian knows about football - oh my f**king sides. SAVILLE: You've never f**ked anyone in your life, boy. MERTON: Oh f**k off... FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) ...About five minutes, just to...(Phil Davey enters) PHIL DAVEY: OK, well top that as they say. You're looking troubled by that, aren't you mate? I tell you, I came back from Amsterdam recently... RECORDING PLACED ON STAND-BY; CUTS BACK TO CLOSE-UP OF DEAYTON AWAITING HIS CUE DEAYTON: OK. Second time lucky. (Pause) Last month, Roger Moore sold his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the New York Times about his relaxed acting style |
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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the above may or may not be true
http://everything2.com/title/The+Dark+Side+of+Jimmy+Savile Edited by Bob Hoskins - 05 Oct 2012 at 11:26pm |
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Offline Points: 37966 |
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Jaysus
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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Sent a few texts with the jokes to some mates got this one back
my birds cousins fancy dress b'day next week 80's theme. Jimmy all the way. I had decided it before these sordid allegations came up....no turning back now |
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Denis Irwin
Robbie Keane Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Location: Ath Cliath Status: Offline Points: 37966 |
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Reaction should be interesting
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Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn |
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soccerc
Jack Charlton Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 7717 |
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Ludwig von Drake
Liam Brady Joined: 14 May 2012 Location: Kildare Status: Offline Points: 1457 |
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