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Crap Joke of the Day

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stokeirish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stokeirish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 8:58pm
How many professional wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just the one, but it will take him really long to climb the ladder
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 10:26pm
Originally posted by stokeirish stokeirish wrote:

How many professional wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb?


Just the one cause the rest are all dead
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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stokeirish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stokeirish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 2017 at 2:35am
Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Originally posted by stokeirish stokeirish wrote:

How many professional wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb?



Just the one cause the rest are all dead


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote barcabhoy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 2017 at 8:20am
What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes
For these games, you must keep a cold heart no, a warm heart and a cold mind no, head! So you must have a warm heart and (pause)a cold head.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Colum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 2017 at 9:43am
A Russian athlete goes to her doctor and says "I've been taking steroids for so long that I've grown a penis"

Doctor asks her "Anabolic?"

"No", she replies..."just a mickey"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GB 1HughJarse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Oct 2017 at 8:31am
Lewis Hamilton wasn’t the only F1 driver with a Scottish town in his name.

Stirling Moss
Johnny Dumfries
Eddie Irvine
And of course.......Ayr Town Centre
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fanny MaGee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2017 at 5:02pm
What do you call a judge with no testicles?

Justice Mickey.
Ask MaGee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2017 at 5:05pm
Originally posted by Fanny MaGee Fanny MaGee wrote:

What do you call a judge with no testicles?

Justice Mickey.


I would have thought most judges in this country have no balls
Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DUBLIN DOC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 10:56am
A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”

Edited by DUBLIN DOC - 08 Aug 2018 at 10:57am
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Shedite View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shedite Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 11:12am
Originally posted by DUBLIN DOC DUBLIN DOC wrote:

A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”
Did you dream that up yourself?

None of it makes sense. There's no punchline, and the bit about "I can do everything" is unnecessary.

Did someone tell you that or did you just decide to try to invent a joke on a Wednesday morning?
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nvidic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nvidic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 11:13am
Originally posted by Shedite Shedite wrote:

Originally posted by DUBLIN DOC DUBLIN DOC wrote:

A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”
Did you dream that up yourself?

None of it makes sense. There's no punchline, and the bit about "I can do everything" is unnecessary.

Did someone tell you that or did you just decide to try to invent a joke on a Wednesday morning?

It is the crap joke thread though..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Roberto Baggio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 11:14am
Maybe it was the quare wan round behind the tree.
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nvidic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nvidic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 11:18am
We caught a brother and sister shifting away in the lift in work yesterday.

It was wrong on so many levels.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gary McKay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 11:24am
Originally posted by nvidic nvidic wrote:

We caught a brother and sister shifting away in the lift in work yesterday.
 
It was wrong on so many levels.
Bloke phoned in sick to work.
Boss says "how sick are you ?"
Bloke says "Im in bed with me sister".
 
"Smalling and Jones.... have the potential to be the PL’s best ever pairing in my opinion." - SlurAlex
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DUBLIN DOC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 12:00pm
Originally posted by Roberto Baggio Roberto Baggio wrote:

Maybe it was the quare wan round behind the tree.
Well if anyone was caught with their kacks down around their ankles, I will refer you to the what I learned today thread ya bleeding gobshoite LOL

Edited by DUBLIN DOC - 08 Aug 2018 at 12:05pm
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DUBLIN DOC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 12:01pm
Originally posted by Gary McKay Gary McKay wrote:

Originally posted by nvidic nvidic wrote:

We caught a brother and sister shifting away in the lift in work yesterday.
 
It was wrong on so many levels.
Bloke phoned in sick to work.
Boss says "how sick are you ?"
Bloke says "Im in bed with me sister".
 
LOLClap
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DUBLIN DOC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 12:03pm
Originally posted by Shedite Shedite wrote:

Originally posted by DUBLIN DOC DUBLIN DOC wrote:

A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”
Did you dream that up yourself?

None of it makes sense. There's no punchline, and the bit about "I can do everything" is unnecessary.

Did someone tell you that or did you just decide to try to invent a joke on a Wednesday morning?
Seems you have problems reading thread titles  shoite me oul mucker
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GB 1HughJarse View Drop Down
Liam Brady
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GB 1HughJarse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 12:20pm
Originally posted by Shedite Shedite wrote:

Originally posted by DUBLIN DOC DUBLIN DOC wrote:

A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”
Did you dream that up yourself?

None of it makes sense. There's no punchline, and the bit about "I can do everything" is unnecessary.

Did someone tell you that or did you just decide to try to invent a joke on a Wednesday morning?

Jesus H.......tough crowd
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