Crap Joke of the Day |
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OnionBag
Ronnie Whelan Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Status: Offline Points: 25 |
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BigPodge
Paul McGrath I'm the Gaffer Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Location: 123 Fake Street Status: Offline Points: 17370 |
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ScruffyR
Liam Brady Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 1230 |
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Ahahahahahahahaha i'll definetly be using that today
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"Football isn't a matter of life or death, it's much more important than that."
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lassassinblanc
Paul McGrath Cheese, it’s not just for eating Joined: 27 Sep 2010 Location: Clairefontaine Status: Offline Points: 16421 |
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I’ve developed a taste for fabric conditioner. My doctor says I’m fine, I’ve just been comfort eating. |
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SuperDave84
Robbie Keane ooh Thomas, how could you do this to me! Joined: 26 Aug 2011 Location: Far Fungannon Status: Offline Points: 21384 |
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Why did the psychic have no trouble finding clothes that fit?
Because she was a medium. |
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Sligo Hornet
Roy Keane Runner Up, Branson lookalike 2003 Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 11916 |
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Medium sized clothing is regularly the size that sells out quickly in shops , making it actually more difficult for your psychic to find clothes that fit |
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Steve Amsterdam
Jack Charlton I love buses Joined: 06 Jan 2009 Location: Amsterdam Status: Offline Points: 7381 |
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All the old threads making a comeback!
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Molly Malone's pub- The home of YBIG in Amsterdam!
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ShamtheRam
Paul McGrath Joined: 05 Apr 2009 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 18088 |
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Paddy's out the back garden and he sees the next door neighbour throwing seeds all over the garden.
"Jaysis Mick, what are you at now?" "Well Paddy, just throwing out some elephant repellant" "There's no elephants around here Mick!" "I know Paddy. Super stuff isn't it!" |
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YBIG NPF founder and CEO
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reddladd
Jack Charlton Joined: 07 Oct 2008 Location: Virgin Islands Status: Offline Points: 6945 |
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I've killed a few black widows. That's why they wouldn't let me in to Nelson Mandela's funeral.
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I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.
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stokeirish
500 Club la la la Joined: 26 May 2016 Location: Stoke on Trent Status: Offline Points: 490 |
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2 parrots sat on a perch. One says to the other, can you smell fish
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TonyNotJack
Liam Brady Joined: 16 Oct 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2491 |
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I took a vegetable to the library last week.
That was a turnip for the books.
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ShamtheRam
Paul McGrath Joined: 05 Apr 2009 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 18088 |
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Two sausages in the pan. One turns to the other and says 'phew it's bloody hot in here'... The other one goes 'jesus Christ a talking sausage'
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YBIG NPF founder and CEO
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Bob Hoskins
Moderator Group Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Status: Offline Points: 20175 |
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Some cracking jokes in here. None of which are from Shamtheram I might add
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Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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SuperDave84
Robbie Keane ooh Thomas, how could you do this to me! Joined: 26 Aug 2011 Location: Far Fungannon Status: Offline Points: 21384 |
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Cavan man joke
Jimmy and Paddy are sitting in the pub having a pint. Jimmy turns to Paddy and says "I'm in an awful state Paddy. The wife's after turfing me out of the house." Paddy: "Ah that's awful altogether, Jimmy" Jimmy: "And sure I don't even have anywhere to live. I've been sleeping in the park." Paddy: "Ah that's shocking Jimmy, sure you know if I had two houses, I'd give you one." Jimmy: "Ah I know, I know. It's not even that. Sure if I had the car, I could sleep in the car and get around and that. But sure hasn't she kept the car as well" Paddy: "Ah that's awful Jimmy, sure you know if I had two cars, I'd give you one." Jimmy: "Ah I know, but it's not even that. I wouldn't even need a car, sure if only she hadn't taken the pushbike"... Paddy: "You know I have two bikes, you bastard!" |
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Roberto Baggio
Robbie Keane UNBELIEVABLE JEFF Joined: 28 Jan 2010 Status: Online Points: 37148 |
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So why doesn't Paddy just give Jimmy the other bike then?
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Trap junior
Robbie Keane YBIG Minister of Doom & Gloom Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Irish Riviera Status: Offline Points: 39480 |
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Martin O'Neill walks into a crowded pub. Orders a whiskey and due to his luck a seat becomes vacant at the bar and sits down. After a few mins a man order a pint through the 3 deep crowd. The barman takes his money and puts the pint down on the bar. The man taps MON on the shoulder and says ''could you pass me that pint?'' ''Pass it? I don't do passing'' says MON. So he tells yer man to go down to the end of the pub near the wall and he boots the pint 30 yds through the air to him. The pint glass spins in the air but due to centripetal force it lands in yer mans hand without spilling a drop.
True story. Edited by Trap junior - 27 Oct 2017 at 2:27pm |
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Pied Piper to: Baldrick, Brendan 88, 9Fingers, Borussia and more...
97.6% chance this post will be replied to by Baldrick (source: PWC) |
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rolo
Moderator Group Joined: 05 Aug 2010 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 9202 |
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Hahaha was thinking the same thing. |
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"I'm off to see the Queen tomorrow too, don't forget that"
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Baldrick
Robbie Keane Peyton-tly Pedantic Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Location: Ireland Status: Online Points: 32512 |
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thick thread lads
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AKA pedantic kunt
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