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Crap Joke of the Day

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The White Cafu View Drop Down
Liam Brady
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The White Cafu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:00pm
Had an IT teacher who liked to touch up students, we called him a pdf file
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaulB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:03pm

Kid sees her da in the shower. She says "daddy when will I get one of them things between your legs"

Daddy replies "when your ma F**ks off to bingo"
 
 
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:06pm
LOL
Originally posted by The White Cafu The White Cafu wrote:

Had an IT teacher who liked to touch up students, we called him a pdf file
you were probably told to leave an Irish centre one night but kept mouthing off and some big church going Gaa player f**ked you out the door hence your hatred for the Catholic Church and Gaa aswell!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:12pm
A vegan said to me; “people who sell meat are disgusting!”

I replied; “people who buy fruit and vegetables are grocer.”
Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".

Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bhob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:19pm
Originally posted by PaulB PaulB wrote:

Kid sees her da in the shower. She says "daddy when will I get one of them things between your legs"

Daddy replies "when your ma F**ks off to bingo"
 
 
 
Confused
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote McG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:26pm
The inventor of the USB stick passed away this morning....




































thanks for the memory
YBIG Table Quiz winner 2016 & 2017
AS YOU WERE McGx

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:28pm
Originally posted by McG McG wrote:

The inventor of the USB stick passed away this morning....




































thanks for the memory

LOL
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When Lord Trap Junior Esquire IV of Corribside saw that Martin O'Neill had been sacked, he wept, for there were no more worlds left to conquer

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bhob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:31pm
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
 
Why didn't she get back up?
Because she had no legs.
 
Why didn't anyone help her?
Because she had no friends.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Trap junior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:32pm
Originally posted by FrankosHereNow FrankosHereNow wrote:

Originally posted by The White Cafu The White Cafu wrote:

I walked in on my sister masturbating with a carrot earlier.
I kicked off.
I was going to eat that later but now it will taste like carrot.
FFS LOL
LOL
For the latest team news EIRE Clubcall 1890 345858

When Lord Trap Junior Esquire IV of Corribside saw that Martin O'Neill had been sacked, he wept, for there were no more worlds left to conquer

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The White Cafu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2018 at 1:42pm
I'll never forget the day my Da who is a magician sat me down at the dinner table and told me he was gay. 



He disappeared with a poof.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The White Cafu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jan 2019 at 2:05pm
I haven't seen my dad since he told me he was moving to Spain to pursue a career in magic.

He counted Uno, Dos, then disappeared without a Tres.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lassassinblanc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jan 2019 at 6:21pm
My friend gets really angry if I steal her kitchen utensils.

But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
You can motorboat but no whistling
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2019 at 8:40pm
A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my EARS?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..."
you were probably told to leave an Irish centre one night but kept mouthing off and some big church going Gaa player f**ked you out the door hence your hatred for the Catholic Church and Gaa aswell!
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Denis Irwin View Drop Down
Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2019 at 8:51pm
An oldie  but a goodie LOL

Edited by Denis Irwin - 05 Feb 2019 at 8:51pm
Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".

Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn
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Robbie Keane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2019 at 9:32pm
Originally posted by Denis Irwin Denis Irwin wrote:

An oldie  but a goodie LOL
First time I had seen or heard it, enjoyed it!
you were probably told to leave an Irish centre one night but kept mouthing off and some big church going Gaa player f**ked you out the door hence your hatred for the Catholic Church and Gaa aswell!
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Jack Charlton
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DUBLIN DOC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2019 at 10:41pm
Murphy and paddy are in the local horsing pints out of it, signing and dancing for all to see, then the bar man says why are you 2 so happy, Murphy says to him the 2 of us just finished a jigsaw after 6 months, and the bar man looks at them and says after 6months and yis are celebrating yis nuts, then paddy says yeah it’s agreat achievement as it said 2 to 4 years on the box
When all is said and done there is nothing left to say or do
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