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Crap Joke of the Day
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Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 Jul 2007
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Points: 20175 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 1:46pm
Originally posted by DUBLIN DOC DUBLIN DOC wrote:

A bloke wanders into the head park wardens office in the Phoenix park looking for a job, the warden says “well what can you do”  and yer man replies “everything boss” right says the warden come with me, so he walks out to a big open space with a huge oak tree in the middle of it and says to yer man “if you can tell me which is the front and which is the back of the tree I will give you a job” so off yer man goes walking around this huge oak tree and after a bit gets back to where your man is standing and points to the tree and says” that’s the front of the tree there boss” the ranger goes “ how do you work that one out so “ yer man replies “because me mother is around the back of it having a sh*te”

If you'd just written the script from that whattsap sound clip doing the rounds, it would have worked far better, adding in your mother just ruined it.
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 Jul 2007
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Points: 20175 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 2:27pm
Stop posting up that joke GD
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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Kevin Kilbane
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Points: 161 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jamie2905 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 2:30pm
Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because he crossed it last year
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Aye Kes, I've pissed me-self again

Joined: 06 Oct 2010
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Points: 22173 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Green Devil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Stop posting up that joke GD



LOL

I was wondering where it was disappearing too!
"He drives two Ferraris; I think he's a very lucky lad to have 50 caps for Ireland,"

Eamonn Dunphy on Glenn Whelan
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UNBELIEVABLE JEFF

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Points: 37267 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Roberto Baggio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2018 at 10:17am
There's a head on collision in Glasgow, the driver of each car gets out to observe the damage, the driver of one car is wearing a Celtic top and the other driver is wearing a Rangers top. Both cars are totally mangled and written off. The Celtic fan says "we were very lucky to walk away from that, makes you think, its time we put all this animosity aside and forgot about the rivalry", goes to the boot of his car and gets out a bottle of scotch and asks if the Rangers fan will join him for a drink. 
"Och I suppose you're right, give us a swig of that bottle" says the rangers fan, drinks half the bottle, hands it back to the Celtic fan and says "go ahead there". The Celtic fan says "no its ok, I think I'll just wait until the police arrive"
 
 
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Paul McGrath
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Cheese, it’s not just for eating

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Points: 16460 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lassassinblanc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2018 at 10:23am
LOL
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Stay Home & watch Lethal Weapon

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Points: 37945 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2018 at 10:24am
LOL
Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".

Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn
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lassassinblanc View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
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Cheese, it’s not just for eating

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Points: 16460 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lassassinblanc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Aug 2018 at 2:30pm
I've a friend who's addicted to frozen poultry

I've told them many times they need to quit cold turkey
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Castleknocker

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My friend sadly died after dropping and slipping on some Nescafe coffee granules while making her breakfast. At least it was instant.
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Liam Brady
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What’s the first sign of Madness?

Suggs walking up your driveway.
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Liam Brady
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Points: 2914 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lenny82 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Aug 2018 at 10:45pm
What do you call a mermaid's pubic hair?

Gee-weed!
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Zinedine Kilbane 110 View Drop Down
Jack Charlton
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Man City records obsession

Joined: 20 Mar 2012
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Points: 9647 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zinedine Kilbane 110 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 6:35am
Pope Francis was stopped by a woman in the Pheonix Park over the weekend and she begged him to help with her 19 year old son's hearing. He looked at the young man and walked towards him. He placed both hands over his ears, closed his eyes and said a beautiful prayer. The pope took his hands off the lads ears and smiled "how's your hearing now my son? "
The lad replied " I haven't a f**kin clue, Im not in court til Wednesday”

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Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
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Points: 20175 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 10:17am
Originally posted by Lenny82 Lenny82 wrote:

What do you call a mermaid's pubic hair?

Gee-weed!

in the past few weeks there have been some sh*te jokes but this is the worst, yet it's the only one I laughed at LOL
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
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The White Cafu View Drop Down
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Points: 2200 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The White Cafu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 1:08pm
How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb? 


You wouldn't know man you weren't there
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SISAO? What the hell is SISAO?

Joined: 27 Jan 2008
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Points: 26975 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote McG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 1:36pm
LOL
YBIG Table Quiz winner 2016 & 2017
AS YOU WERE McGx
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lassassinblanc View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
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Cheese, it’s not just for eating

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Points: 16460 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lassassinblanc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 1:37pm
Brought a chuckle

thanks
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pre Madonna View Drop Down
Robbie Keane
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I am MALDING

Joined: 30 Nov 2014
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Points: 44659 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pre Madonna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 2:21pm
Originally posted by The White Cafu The White Cafu wrote:

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb? 


You wouldn't know man you weren't there
To be told around the same time as this:
 
How many German electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
 
"Vun. Ve are trained in such matters."
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Liam Brady
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Points: 2200 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The White Cafu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Aug 2018 at 2:32pm
Or this, 

Why did so many African-Americans die in Vietnam?

Every time they were told to get down they started dancing.
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