You Boys in Green Homepage YBIG Shop
Forum Home Forum Home : Other Forums : Whatever!
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Crap Joke of the Day
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Crap Joke of the Day

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <12345 8>
Author
Message
GB 1HughJarse View Drop Down
Liam Brady
Liam Brady
Avatar

Joined: 03 Sep 2015
Location: Dublin
Status: Offline
Points: 1623
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GB 1HughJarse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 2:56pm
Originally posted by Trap junior Trap junior wrote:

Martin O'Neill walks into a crowded pub. Orders a whiskey and due to his luck a seat becomes vacant at the bar and sits down.  After a few mins a man order a pint through the 3 deep crowd.  The barman takes his money and puts the pint down on the bar.  The man taps MON on the shoulder and says ''could you pass me that pint?''  ''Pass it? I don't do passing'' says MON.  So he tells yer man to go down to the end of the pub near the wall and he boots the pint 30 yds through the air to him.  The pint glass spins in the air but due to centripetal force it lands in yer mans hand without spilling a drop.

True story.


(I like MON, and want him to stay as manager, still a good joke)
1 Hugh Jarse....Bada Bing
Back to Top
rolo View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group


Joined: 05 Aug 2010
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 8643
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:04pm
Trapattoni walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bar man says "I tell you what, make me laugh and I'll give you this drink for free". Trapattoni
starts rabitting on in Italian. Manuela, his personal assistant, personal translator, and very own personal shadow, translates: "martin o'neill walks into a pub and orders a whiskey" - "heard that one earlier says the bar man. "Have to do better than that".

Trap sets off again, rapid Italian and hand gestures and gesticulation. Manuela translates: "football is football. Football no a show. You want show go to la scala. You want football watch my team". Someone quips from across the bar "anyone know where I can get tickets to la scala lads?" Cue a lot of laughter. Barman tells them to hush. "Useless" he says.

Exasperated, and deperate for a free drink, Trap tries again.
Manuela translates: "when I was Irish mananger I didnt care about the 2 million a year, i took the job for the love of the game and I worked really hard". The bar man bursts out laughing, is hunched over as if gripped by a hysteria, the rest of the customers are in absolute stitches, eventually the bar man manages to compose himself and says "jaysis, havent laughed like that in years. Free drinks for the night on me"
Matt Cooper: What do you think is different this time?
John Delaney: Well we can understand our manager which is great. I tell you what, his English was always great when we were discussing the wages!
Back to Top
Denis Irwin View Drop Down
Robbie Keane
Robbie Keane
Avatar
#No1 on breaking news on bad news

Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Location: Ath Cliath
Status: Online
Points: 33085
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:08pm
Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".

Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn
Back to Top
McG View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group

SISAO? What the hell is SISAO?

Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Location: Christmas Island
Status: Offline
Points: 20815
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote McG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:12pm
Originally posted by Trap junior Trap junior wrote:

Martin O'Neill walks into a crowded pub. Orders a whiskey and due to his luck a seat becomes vacant at the bar and sits down.  After a few mins a man order a pint through the 3 deep crowd.  The barman takes his money and puts the pint down on the bar.  The man taps MON on the shoulder and says ''could you pass me that pint?''  ''Pass it? I don't do passing'' says MON.  So he tells yer man to go down to the end of the pub near the wall and he boots the pint 30 yds through the air to him.  The pint glass spins in the air but due to centripetal force it lands in yer mans hand without spilling a drop.

True story.

LOL
YBIG Table Quiz winner 2016 & 2017
AS YOU WERE McGx

Back to Top
Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group
Avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 19218
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:20pm
Trap Jnr joke > Rolo joke
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
Back to Top
horsebox View Drop Down
Robbie Keane
Robbie Keane
Avatar
Born n bred in darndale.

Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 27215
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote horsebox Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:33pm
Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Trap Jnr joke > Rolo joke


+1

Rolo's attempt comes across as a childish little rant.
     
Back to Top
MC Hammered View Drop Down
Ray Houghton
Ray Houghton


Joined: 05 Oct 2011
Status: Online
Points: 4568
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MC Hammered Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 3:48pm
I liked both efforts 
El Puto Amo
Back to Top
Steve Amsterdam View Drop Down
Jack Charlton
Jack Charlton
Avatar
I love buses

Joined: 06 Jan 2009
Location: Amsterdam
Status: Offline
Points: 7342
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Steve Amsterdam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 4:30pm
Good effort by both yeah! LOL
Molly Malone's pub- The home of YBIG in Amsterdam!
Back to Top
SuperDave84 View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
Paul McGrath
Avatar
ooh Thomas, how could you do this to me!

Joined: 26 Aug 2011
Location: Far Fungannon
Status: Offline
Points: 19898
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SuperDave84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 4:35pm
Originally posted by rolo rolo wrote:

Originally posted by Roberto Baggio Roberto Baggio wrote:


So why doesn't Paddy just give Jimmy the other bike then?
 
 


Hahaha was thinking the same thing.



Ah here lads, that's the f**king joke!
Back to Top
rossieman View Drop Down
Roy Keane
Roy Keane
Avatar

Joined: 01 Apr 2011
Status: Offline
Points: 14069
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rossieman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 4:54pm
Originally posted by SuperDave84 SuperDave84 wrote:

Originally posted by rolo rolo wrote:

Originally posted by Roberto Baggio Roberto Baggio wrote:


So why doesn't Paddy just give Jimmy the other bike then?
 
 


Hahaha was thinking the same thing.



Ah here lads, that's the f**king joke!

LOLLOL
Back to Top
reddladd View Drop Down
Jack Charlton
Jack Charlton
Avatar

Joined: 07 Oct 2008
Location: Virgin Islands
Status: Offline
Points: 5878
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote reddladd Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 5:06pm
Threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. Knew it would come back to haunt me.
I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.
Back to Top
ShamtheRam View Drop Down
Paul McGrath
Paul McGrath
Avatar

Joined: 05 Apr 2009
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 16426
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShamtheRam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 5:09pm
Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Some cracking jokes in here. None of which are from Shamtheram I might add

Well this is the crap joke thread...
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
Back to Top
rolo View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group


Joined: 05 Aug 2010
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 8643
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by ShamtheRam ShamtheRam wrote:

Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Some cracking jokes in here. None of which are from Shamtheram I might add

Well this is the crap joke thread...

I thought your joke about the talking sausage was good.
Matt Cooper: What do you think is different this time?
John Delaney: Well we can understand our manager which is great. I tell you what, his English was always great when we were discussing the wages!
Back to Top
rolo View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group


Joined: 05 Aug 2010
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 8643
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by SuperDave84 SuperDave84 wrote:

Originally posted by rolo rolo wrote:

Originally posted by Roberto Baggio Roberto Baggio wrote:


So why doesn't Paddy just give Jimmy the other bike then?
 
 


Hahaha was thinking the same thing.



Ah here lads, that's the f**king joke!

haha oh dear. I get it now. Embarrassed
Matt Cooper: What do you think is different this time?
John Delaney: Well we can understand our manager which is great. I tell you what, his English was always great when we were discussing the wages!
Back to Top
drog addict View Drop Down
Jack Charlton
Jack Charlton
Avatar
Castleknocker

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Location: Sunnyvale
Status: Offline
Points: 6042
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote drog addict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 6:44pm
Guy pulls a moth when out on the piss one night. Bales back to hers and gives her a shot. Wakes up the next morning and pulls open the curtains and realises he in a halting site. He turns to yer one and says "i thought you were a nurse". "No" she says, "i told you i am a Ward sister".
Back to Top
Denis Irwin View Drop Down
Robbie Keane
Robbie Keane
Avatar
#No1 on breaking news on bad news

Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Location: Ath Cliath
Status: Online
Points: 33085
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Denis Irwin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 6:53pm
Eamonn Dunphy:"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".

Bill O'Herlihy: Ah ye can't be saying that now Eamonn
Back to Top
Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group
Avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 19218
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 8:39pm
Originally posted by rossieman rossieman wrote:

Originally posted by SuperDave84 SuperDave84 wrote:

Originally posted by rolo rolo wrote:

Originally posted by Roberto Baggio Roberto Baggio wrote:


So why doesn't Paddy just give Jimmy the other bike then?
 
 


Hahaha was thinking the same thing.



Ah here lads, that's the f**king joke!

LOLLOL

I wasn't sure if they were taking the piss...maybe notEmbarrassed
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
Back to Top
Bob Hoskins View Drop Down
Moderator Group
Moderator Group
Avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 19218
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob Hoskins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2017 at 8:40pm
Originally posted by ShamtheRam ShamtheRam wrote:

Originally posted by Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins wrote:

Some cracking jokes in here. None of which are from Shamtheram I might add

Well this is the crap joke thread...

LOL true that
Romario 2016: And the ticket mafia gets caught! Well, four years ago I had already told the government.
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <12345 8>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.00
Copyright ©2001-2018 Web Wiz Ltd.