caught having a pedal

Peter Stöger wrote: MC Hammered wrote: Was Gary'ed off my head at a party in a mates gaff about 10 years ago. Was caught vandalizing myself in front of the tv in the downstairs back room. One of the lads walked in and switched the light on. I was sitting on the floor belting away. I didnt break stride but roared at him to fook off and turn the light back off. I apologized for the interruption to the imaginary bird I thought I was riding and continued on with my activities. It might have made more sense if there was something decent on the TV but it was Formula One highlights I never look at 50 cent the same way

Was on a school trip when i was about 16, it was an exchange so felt a bit uncomfortable with the moral/logistical implications of going at myself in that gaff, small place as it was. a week and a half into it the class we went over with go on a cycling trip. Rooming with my best mate at the time, to my delight the room had a jacks with a lock on it. Grand says i, I'll say i'm going for a shower and go to town on myself while im in there. Now i've always found self-vandalisation a bit tricky when i'm standing up, i dont know why. So i decide sure i'll sit down on the bog and have a good time. Stick the headphones in with whatever second-rate porn i was watching at the time and crack on. Crucial mistake, i forgot to turn on the shower. For whatever reason its taking me a fair while. My mate realises something is up, knocks on the door. Me with the headphones in i can't hear him. So he wonders has something gone on am i even in there or has something happened, gets a 20c coin because it was one of those locks that'll get unlocked like that. Cue me frantically trying to cover up and scream 'NO F*CK OFF I WAS ONLY HAVING A SH*TE' while he absolutely falls about the place laughing and informs the rest of the lads that no sooner had i set foot in the place i'd made a beeline for the jacks to pull the bar off myself. Took me a while to live that down 

Edited by OnTheOneRoad - 11 Apr 2016 at 11:51pm

Cant remember if I've put this one up before or not.......

Bitored wrote: Cant remember if I've put this one up before or not....... A friend of mine was lying on his bed one day with headphones in listening to music. He`s relaxed so he closes his eyes and starts having a tug. When he`s finished he opens his eyes and there`s a tray of milk and cookies left beside his bed which his mother had obviously brought in!

reddladd wrote: Yeh, I don't know anyone this side of the Atlantic who refers to biscuits as cookies. Were you born stateside Bitored.

Anyone ever have a good pedal while she was asleep and jizz all over her back.

Gary McKay wrote: Anyone ever have a good pedal while she was asleep and jizz all over her back.   They dont like it !!!

This can also be known as the superman if applied correctly. Jizz on her shoulders and then place the sheet over it. When gets up to use the jacks the next morning she will look like superman with her cape.

Bob Hoskins wrote: Bitored wrote: Cant remember if I've put this one up before or not....... A friend of mine was lying on his bed one day with headphones in listening to music. He`s relaxed so he closes his eyes and starts having a tug. When he`s finished he opens his eyes and there`s a tray of milk and cookies left beside his bed which his mother had obviously brought in! Wow, never heard that one before. And who in Ireland gets milk and cookies ffs